Sept. 6: A trip to Costco


Costco exists so that middle class people don't have to feel poor by shopping at Wal-Mart. There are two ways that Costco keeps the really poor out of its stores:

1. They charge memberships.
2. Everything it sells is in really big boxes, which means you need a big car to get all that stuff home. Poor people can't afford big cars so they don't shop at Costco.

I have been to Costco maybe 20 times over the past decade. If you ever want to buy 68 raspberry granola bars or enough peanuts to feed a basketball team, Costco is the place for you.

The best job you can get at Costco is receipt scribbler. Here are your duties:

1. Wait by the exit door for people getting ready to leave Costco with shopping carts filled with boxes.
2. Demand that they show you their receipts.
3. Scribble on the receipt with a black sharpie.
4. Give the receipt back to the person so they can throw it in the garbage.

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