Sept. 2: New Brunswick
New Brunswick is Canada's
forgotten province. What that means is that when Grade 7 geography
students are asked to name Canada's 10 provinces, they always name New
Brunswick last. This is also true of students in New Brunswick. No one
ever forgets Alberta, Saskatchewan, Ontario or Quebec. They don't forget
Ontario because it's the centre of the universe. They don't forget
Saskatchewan because it's famous for being flat and uninspiring. They
don't forget Alberta because it's rich and full of oil and it has
Calgary, which is the best city in the world. They don't forget Quebec
because annoying people live there.
We hate Canada but we love the federal payments that enable to tell Canada how much we hate it.
I happen to know that Fredericton is the capital of New Brunswick. I learned it in Grade 7 after our social studies teacher, Mr. Campbell, forced us to memorize the Canadian provincial capitals. He also made us memorize the US state capitals. To this day, I know that Bismarck is the capital of North Dakota.
I know nothing about New Brunswick so I'll just say that Fredericton is a fine enough city to serve as capital. The capital of Alberta should be Calgary because it's a much better city than Edmonton. All Edmonton has going for it is the fading memory of a bunch of Stanley Cup victories in the 80s. If your claim to fame is that you were pretty cool three decades ago, then you shouldn't be capital. You don't see Culture Club or Mr. Mister being provincial capitals, do you? I rest my case.
Do you really want to do a throne speech? Do you really want to make me cry?
New Brunswick is in the Atlantic Ocean and so it probably smells like sea salt and fish. I bet it rains there a lot and you see lots of old men with grey beards and yellow rain slickers walking up the street.
There is an election going on in New Brunswick right now. One of the candidates is a Liberal named Andrew Harvey, who was just suspended by the Grits after they discovered he was once charged with fraud. There was this far-leftie on an online discussion board I used to belong to and, if that board was up and running now, he would not have mentioned Andrew Harvey at all. Reason: Andrew Harvey is a Liberal. If he was a Conservative, the far-leftie would have posted about 10 links to the story and provided lots of rhetoric about how evil the right is.
Here is a book called Discovering New Brunswick:
People go to New Brunswick so they can meet guys in their 50s who wear blue sweaters and black hats.
New Brunswick has something called the St. Stephen's Chocolate Festival. This intrigues me because I went to St. Stephen's Junior High School in Calgary and that school had very little to do with chocolate. Sometimes we'd have Texas Donut Day when you could buy giant chocolate donuts for $1.50 but that's about as chocolatey as the good Catholic teachers of suburban southwest Calgary got.
St. Stephen's is actually a town in New Brunswick. It's so famous for its chocolate that some people actually wanted to call it Chocolate Town (they probably didn't go with it because people would think it's a gay porno movie.)
The website says the chocolate festival runs for one week in August and that it is sponsored by Ganong, which is mediocre chocolate. I keep saying that Alberta is the best place in the world so it only follows that the best chocolate in the world would be from there too. And it is. Behold:
We hate Canada but we love the federal payments that enable to tell Canada how much we hate it.I happen to know that Fredericton is the capital of New Brunswick. I learned it in Grade 7 after our social studies teacher, Mr. Campbell, forced us to memorize the Canadian provincial capitals. He also made us memorize the US state capitals. To this day, I know that Bismarck is the capital of North Dakota.
I know nothing about New Brunswick so I'll just say that Fredericton is a fine enough city to serve as capital. The capital of Alberta should be Calgary because it's a much better city than Edmonton. All Edmonton has going for it is the fading memory of a bunch of Stanley Cup victories in the 80s. If your claim to fame is that you were pretty cool three decades ago, then you shouldn't be capital. You don't see Culture Club or Mr. Mister being provincial capitals, do you? I rest my case.
Do you really want to do a throne speech? Do you really want to make me cry?New Brunswick is in the Atlantic Ocean and so it probably smells like sea salt and fish. I bet it rains there a lot and you see lots of old men with grey beards and yellow rain slickers walking up the street.
There is an election going on in New Brunswick right now. One of the candidates is a Liberal named Andrew Harvey, who was just suspended by the Grits after they discovered he was once charged with fraud. There was this far-leftie on an online discussion board I used to belong to and, if that board was up and running now, he would not have mentioned Andrew Harvey at all. Reason: Andrew Harvey is a Liberal. If he was a Conservative, the far-leftie would have posted about 10 links to the story and provided lots of rhetoric about how evil the right is.
Here is a book called Discovering New Brunswick:
People go to New Brunswick so they can meet guys in their 50s who wear blue sweaters and black hats.
New Brunswick has something called the St. Stephen's Chocolate Festival. This intrigues me because I went to St. Stephen's Junior High School in Calgary and that school had very little to do with chocolate. Sometimes we'd have Texas Donut Day when you could buy giant chocolate donuts for $1.50 but that's about as chocolatey as the good Catholic teachers of suburban southwest Calgary got.
St. Stephen's is actually a town in New Brunswick. It's so famous for its chocolate that some people actually wanted to call it Chocolate Town (they probably didn't go with it because people would think it's a gay porno movie.)
The website says the chocolate festival runs for one week in August and that it is sponsored by Ganong, which is mediocre chocolate. I keep saying that Alberta is the best place in the world so it only follows that the best chocolate in the world would be from there too. And it is. Behold:
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