Sept. 14: What offends me
A few years ago, I was interviewing people for our newspaper's
Straight Talk feature. That's when we ask our readers a question and
publish their answers along with their pictures. Usually the questions
are pretty innocuous. That's because people are reluctant to be in
Straight Talk in the first place - asking them to state their positions
on abortion would be a hard sell.
The question that week was particularly inoffensive - something like "What's your favourite piece of furniture." I talked to one old lady who, after a minute of pondering, decided that it had to be the couch her husband had purchased for their 25th anniversary. Fine. I took the details down and went home.
A couple days later, I get a phone call from the old lady's middle aged daughter. Turns out that mom was unable to sleep these past two nights. The reason: She's just so worried she might offend someone with her answer (because let's face it, couches ARE pretty offensive. They're sofa king offensive, if you catch my drift.) "Could you please please please take mom's name out? She's just a sweet old lady and she never wants to offend anyone at all."
I guess I was in a charitable mood that day. Had I had my wits about me, I would have said: "Why don't you tell your mom that I am grossly offended by her cowardice. That's one of the most offensive things I've ever heard."
Can you imagine living your whole life never offending anyone? What a waste of a life that would be. It's almost as bad as going out of your way to offend everyone you meet. Seriously, if your goal is to never offend anyone, then you'd better stay at home all day, never go anywhere, and never talk to anyone at all.
Don't eat anything (you may offend vegetarians or vegans or cattle producers), don't drive a vehicle (you may offend certain members of Greenpeace) and please don't ever create any art.
It will offend people.
-
Think of the most inoffensive person possible. Chances are you're thinking of Mister Rogers, that cardigan-wearing Land of Make Believe Dwelling smiling puppet fan.
Mister Rogers made a living hosting his PBS children's show, where he told his television neighbours that they were special and he loved them just the way they are. I actually find this offensive and I wish we'd get out of this way of thinking. Telling a child he is special will certainly make the child feel good. Problem is that makes every child special too and if every child is special, no one is special. What does special mean anyway? It means something about them sets them apart from the others, usually in a good way.
I've no doubt Mister Rogers would disagree with my analysis. Were he alive today, he might counter with one of his arguments like "knowing that we can be loved exactly like we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people."
Well, maybe so. But if I was a teacher, I wouldn't ask my students to tell me why they're special. I'd ask them to tell me what they are working really hard to accomplish.
-
Eric Mead, I hope I get to meet you one day.
Mr. Mead is a Colorado magician. Once he penned an essay on why his fellow magicians tend to make their acts as innocuous as possible. (There are exceptions of course - Penn & Teller being an example that springs readily to mind.)
Look, if you go to a comedian's show, chances are you'll come away knowing a bit more about the comic's worldview. George Carlin, rated the second best comedian of all time, left no one wondering what he thought about politics, organized religion, or censorship laws. The number one comedian, Richard Pryor, had a lot to say about racism and drug use and poverty, but his one shining moment came when he was vulnerable with his audience when he told them about an epiphany he'd had about his use of the word "nigger."
But what do we know of David Copperfield? Or Criss Angel or Doug Henning or David Blaine? Not much.
Speak up. Let us know how you see the world.
The question that week was particularly inoffensive - something like "What's your favourite piece of furniture." I talked to one old lady who, after a minute of pondering, decided that it had to be the couch her husband had purchased for their 25th anniversary. Fine. I took the details down and went home.
A couple days later, I get a phone call from the old lady's middle aged daughter. Turns out that mom was unable to sleep these past two nights. The reason: She's just so worried she might offend someone with her answer (because let's face it, couches ARE pretty offensive. They're sofa king offensive, if you catch my drift.) "Could you please please please take mom's name out? She's just a sweet old lady and she never wants to offend anyone at all."
I guess I was in a charitable mood that day. Had I had my wits about me, I would have said: "Why don't you tell your mom that I am grossly offended by her cowardice. That's one of the most offensive things I've ever heard."
Can you imagine living your whole life never offending anyone? What a waste of a life that would be. It's almost as bad as going out of your way to offend everyone you meet. Seriously, if your goal is to never offend anyone, then you'd better stay at home all day, never go anywhere, and never talk to anyone at all.
Don't eat anything (you may offend vegetarians or vegans or cattle producers), don't drive a vehicle (you may offend certain members of Greenpeace) and please don't ever create any art.
It will offend people.
-
Think of the most inoffensive person possible. Chances are you're thinking of Mister Rogers, that cardigan-wearing Land of Make Believe Dwelling smiling puppet fan.
Mister Rogers made a living hosting his PBS children's show, where he told his television neighbours that they were special and he loved them just the way they are. I actually find this offensive and I wish we'd get out of this way of thinking. Telling a child he is special will certainly make the child feel good. Problem is that makes every child special too and if every child is special, no one is special. What does special mean anyway? It means something about them sets them apart from the others, usually in a good way.
I've no doubt Mister Rogers would disagree with my analysis. Were he alive today, he might counter with one of his arguments like "knowing that we can be loved exactly like we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people."
Well, maybe so. But if I was a teacher, I wouldn't ask my students to tell me why they're special. I'd ask them to tell me what they are working really hard to accomplish.
-
Eric Mead, I hope I get to meet you one day.
Mr. Mead is a Colorado magician. Once he penned an essay on why his fellow magicians tend to make their acts as innocuous as possible. (There are exceptions of course - Penn & Teller being an example that springs readily to mind.)
Look, if you go to a comedian's show, chances are you'll come away knowing a bit more about the comic's worldview. George Carlin, rated the second best comedian of all time, left no one wondering what he thought about politics, organized religion, or censorship laws. The number one comedian, Richard Pryor, had a lot to say about racism and drug use and poverty, but his one shining moment came when he was vulnerable with his audience when he told them about an epiphany he'd had about his use of the word "nigger."
But what do we know of David Copperfield? Or Criss Angel or Doug Henning or David Blaine? Not much.
Speak up. Let us know how you see the world.
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