Sept. 27: Truth in advertising
Getting this title for note-a-day could not have come at a more
opportune time. That's because I happened to be perusing the Sears
catalog this morning and I was immediately struck by how truthful their
advertising is. Seriously, when I flipped through the toy section, I was
blown away by the company's honesty. There was only one glaring error,
which I'll get to shortly, but for now I want to reproduce some of the
images from the catalog and comment on them.
I love how it's a little girl with the stroller and the dollies. Just a girl. No boy. Where's the boy? Why, he's off at work, silly. And if he's not working, he's probably at home, lounging on the sofa, a glass of Kool-Aid in one hand, watching Transformers on TV.
The good folks at Sears know that raising babies is mommy's job.
Another win for Sears. How awesome it is that it's a girl running the sewing machine. Everyone knows that boys and sewing machines mix like New Democrats and good ideas. Or the Winnipeg Blue Bombers and Grey Cup victories. Or The Toronto Star with objectivity.
And I love how happy that little girl looks. Why is she so happy? Probably because she's imagining how pleased her husband will be after she finishes mending his socks.
Okay, I had a bit of a warning bell go off here. Nothing too major though. The problem is that this girl is playing with a veterinarian set and we all know that the only way to become a veterinarian is to go to university and take complicated courses like biology and zoology - things that a little girl's brain just wasn't designed to absorb.
I'm sorry, sweetie, but you really need to understand that as a girl, your career choices are limited to nurse, teacher, secretary or waitress. You can also be a homemaker. In fact, that's probably what you should be. The world was just a much better place before World War II. Now go light a cigarette and change the baby.
This picture is also very good because it shows a little girl happily making a meal for her family. I like to think it's Thanksgiving and all the men are watching football in the living room while the women cook supper. Soon it will be dinnertime. After the meal, the men will watch another football game while the women clean up and talk about how much they love their husbands.
Life is awesome.
This picture is nothing more than an explosion of sheer awesomeness. It should be shown to people contemplating suicide. It will surely let them know that there is a lot that is good with the world and that humanity is on the right track.
Although this image is pitching a kitchen playset, everyone should notice that the child actors are portraying totally appropriate gender roles. Notice how the two girls are busy preparing a meal while the boy talks on the phone? And notice how the boy isn't even looking at the girls? He doesn't have to. He knows that they exist just for him - that their mission in life is to keep him nourished so he can go out into the world and build skyscrapers or buy stocks or write novels about men who kill alligators and eat their eyeballs and then blow fireballs out their assholes.
This picture makes me realize how awesome I am.
I actually wept when I saw this picture. A chill ran up my spine. It just looks so right.
That's a girl with that vacuum cleaner. A girl. Notice how the good people at Sears strategically placed more cleaning supplies in the background? That's so they can subtly let us know that vacuuming the house isn't the be-all and end-all of a woman's existence. Oh no. The vacuum cleaner is merely chapter one. You have a whole novel to write, honey. Chapter two is called dusting and chapter three is called scrubbing and chapter four is called laundry. You'd better get it all done by noon so you can start cooking supper for your husband. He'll be awfully hungry once he gets home from work.
If you have any questions, just ask your husband. He'll explain things for you.
No no no no no! Obviously the good people at Sears let their guard down and let some dumb 19-year-old feminist intern run the art apartment for a day.
What in the world is a girl doing handling weaponry? Is this supposed to be a nod to The Hunger Games and its archery-happy heroine Katniss Everdeen? If so, it's pandering and patronizing. I don't want to see girls handling guns or bows or knives (unless they're using one to cut me a piece of cake.) I wouldn't want her to shoot off her precious little hands. How else is she going to scrub the walls?
-
I guess if I had to give the people at Sears a grade for their catalog, I'd give them a B+. They're doing an amazing job of telling little boys and girls what their future roles should be, but the pictures really should be in black and white, just like they would have been in the 1940s.
I love how it's a little girl with the stroller and the dollies. Just a girl. No boy. Where's the boy? Why, he's off at work, silly. And if he's not working, he's probably at home, lounging on the sofa, a glass of Kool-Aid in one hand, watching Transformers on TV.
The good folks at Sears know that raising babies is mommy's job.
Another win for Sears. How awesome it is that it's a girl running the sewing machine. Everyone knows that boys and sewing machines mix like New Democrats and good ideas. Or the Winnipeg Blue Bombers and Grey Cup victories. Or The Toronto Star with objectivity.
And I love how happy that little girl looks. Why is she so happy? Probably because she's imagining how pleased her husband will be after she finishes mending his socks.
Okay, I had a bit of a warning bell go off here. Nothing too major though. The problem is that this girl is playing with a veterinarian set and we all know that the only way to become a veterinarian is to go to university and take complicated courses like biology and zoology - things that a little girl's brain just wasn't designed to absorb.
I'm sorry, sweetie, but you really need to understand that as a girl, your career choices are limited to nurse, teacher, secretary or waitress. You can also be a homemaker. In fact, that's probably what you should be. The world was just a much better place before World War II. Now go light a cigarette and change the baby.
This picture is also very good because it shows a little girl happily making a meal for her family. I like to think it's Thanksgiving and all the men are watching football in the living room while the women cook supper. Soon it will be dinnertime. After the meal, the men will watch another football game while the women clean up and talk about how much they love their husbands.
Life is awesome.
This picture is nothing more than an explosion of sheer awesomeness. It should be shown to people contemplating suicide. It will surely let them know that there is a lot that is good with the world and that humanity is on the right track.
Although this image is pitching a kitchen playset, everyone should notice that the child actors are portraying totally appropriate gender roles. Notice how the two girls are busy preparing a meal while the boy talks on the phone? And notice how the boy isn't even looking at the girls? He doesn't have to. He knows that they exist just for him - that their mission in life is to keep him nourished so he can go out into the world and build skyscrapers or buy stocks or write novels about men who kill alligators and eat their eyeballs and then blow fireballs out their assholes.
This picture makes me realize how awesome I am.
I actually wept when I saw this picture. A chill ran up my spine. It just looks so right.
That's a girl with that vacuum cleaner. A girl. Notice how the good people at Sears strategically placed more cleaning supplies in the background? That's so they can subtly let us know that vacuuming the house isn't the be-all and end-all of a woman's existence. Oh no. The vacuum cleaner is merely chapter one. You have a whole novel to write, honey. Chapter two is called dusting and chapter three is called scrubbing and chapter four is called laundry. You'd better get it all done by noon so you can start cooking supper for your husband. He'll be awfully hungry once he gets home from work.
If you have any questions, just ask your husband. He'll explain things for you.
No no no no no! Obviously the good people at Sears let their guard down and let some dumb 19-year-old feminist intern run the art apartment for a day.
What in the world is a girl doing handling weaponry? Is this supposed to be a nod to The Hunger Games and its archery-happy heroine Katniss Everdeen? If so, it's pandering and patronizing. I don't want to see girls handling guns or bows or knives (unless they're using one to cut me a piece of cake.) I wouldn't want her to shoot off her precious little hands. How else is she going to scrub the walls?
-
I guess if I had to give the people at Sears a grade for their catalog, I'd give them a B+. They're doing an amazing job of telling little boys and girls what their future roles should be, but the pictures really should be in black and white, just like they would have been in the 1940s.
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