June 19: Donut nightmares and sourdough dreams
DENNY'S HAS SOURDOUGH BREAD!
I have know this for a long time but it became amazingly important last week when I took our newspaper's co-op student to Denny's for lunch. The reason for this was that our co-op student was leaving us and we wanted to tell the co-op student that we appreciated all the hard work that the co-op student did for us.
The co-op student ordered lunch and asked for brown toast. I ordered chicken fried steak with grits and tomato slices and sourdough toast. As soon as the co-op student discovered that sourdough was available, the co-op student asked to change bread selection. The server agreed.
Sourdough probably isn't good for you. Here is how to figure out if food is bad for you. Simply ask yourself if it tastes good. If it tastes good, it is bad for you. God hates us and he wants us to be sick and fat and die.
White bread tastes better than brown bread, which tastes like dirt. The co-op student, who is 18, ate the sourdough toast with relish (I mean relish as adjective, not as a condiment.) When you're 18, you can eat all the sourdough you want. You can't when you're 41. Eat sourdough and a Cherry Coke for lunch and then you start wanting to go to bed at three in the afternoon.
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Tim Hortons is probably bad. Here is why it is bad: It makes donuts.
Donuts are filled with sugar. Sugar gives you diabetes. Diabetes is bad.
A picture of something that is bad.
The best kind of Tim Hortons donut is the Bismarck, which is a vanilla donut that has chocolate frosting and is filled with cream. Here is a list of items that can be found in the cream: sugar, fat, things that are bad.
You can get a chocolate dip donut, which is sort of like a Bismarck except there's no cream and there's a little less donut but it will still make you fat, just not as fast as Bismarcks will.
Come to think of it, Bismarck is kind of a strange name for a donut from a Canadian franchise. Bismarck is the capital of North Dakota. Let's go to Google to see if we can find out why.
Ah, Google tells me that the Bismarck is named for the German city where the pastry originated. Now I am smart.
Eeeeeeeeeeee.
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Dunkin Donuts is bad too. It is badder than Tim Hortons. Here is why: Dunkin Donuts is American.
There is another Canadian donut shop called Robin's Donuts and they have chocolate Bismarcks, which were chocolate donuts with chocolate frosting and a chocolate cream filling. Robin's Donuts was started in Thunder Bay and they are planning to expand across the country.
Let us go on the Robin's Donuts website and see if they have any sourdough stuff.
It does not look like they do. However, they do have poppy seed bagels. Tim Hortons used to have poppy seed bagels but they stopped carrying them as soon as they discovered that I like them.
Happens all the time. The world revolves around me.
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After lunch, the co-op student said she enjoyed her sourdough toast and her poached eggs, which she ordered with Hollandaise sauce. I asked her what's inside Hollandaise sauce and she said it was made of things that are bad.
"Seems like everything I like will make me sick or poor or fat."
David Lee Roth sang that in 1988.
He's DA MAN!!!!
Eeeeeeeeeee!
I have know this for a long time but it became amazingly important last week when I took our newspaper's co-op student to Denny's for lunch. The reason for this was that our co-op student was leaving us and we wanted to tell the co-op student that we appreciated all the hard work that the co-op student did for us.
The co-op student ordered lunch and asked for brown toast. I ordered chicken fried steak with grits and tomato slices and sourdough toast. As soon as the co-op student discovered that sourdough was available, the co-op student asked to change bread selection. The server agreed.
Sourdough probably isn't good for you. Here is how to figure out if food is bad for you. Simply ask yourself if it tastes good. If it tastes good, it is bad for you. God hates us and he wants us to be sick and fat and die.
White bread tastes better than brown bread, which tastes like dirt. The co-op student, who is 18, ate the sourdough toast with relish (I mean relish as adjective, not as a condiment.) When you're 18, you can eat all the sourdough you want. You can't when you're 41. Eat sourdough and a Cherry Coke for lunch and then you start wanting to go to bed at three in the afternoon.
-
Tim Hortons is probably bad. Here is why it is bad: It makes donuts.
Donuts are filled with sugar. Sugar gives you diabetes. Diabetes is bad.
A picture of something that is bad.The best kind of Tim Hortons donut is the Bismarck, which is a vanilla donut that has chocolate frosting and is filled with cream. Here is a list of items that can be found in the cream: sugar, fat, things that are bad.
You can get a chocolate dip donut, which is sort of like a Bismarck except there's no cream and there's a little less donut but it will still make you fat, just not as fast as Bismarcks will.
Come to think of it, Bismarck is kind of a strange name for a donut from a Canadian franchise. Bismarck is the capital of North Dakota. Let's go to Google to see if we can find out why.
Ah, Google tells me that the Bismarck is named for the German city where the pastry originated. Now I am smart.
Eeeeeeeeeeee.
-
Dunkin Donuts is bad too. It is badder than Tim Hortons. Here is why: Dunkin Donuts is American.
There is another Canadian donut shop called Robin's Donuts and they have chocolate Bismarcks, which were chocolate donuts with chocolate frosting and a chocolate cream filling. Robin's Donuts was started in Thunder Bay and they are planning to expand across the country.
Let us go on the Robin's Donuts website and see if they have any sourdough stuff.
It does not look like they do. However, they do have poppy seed bagels. Tim Hortons used to have poppy seed bagels but they stopped carrying them as soon as they discovered that I like them.
Happens all the time. The world revolves around me.
-
After lunch, the co-op student said she enjoyed her sourdough toast and her poached eggs, which she ordered with Hollandaise sauce. I asked her what's inside Hollandaise sauce and she said it was made of things that are bad.
"Seems like everything I like will make me sick or poor or fat."
David Lee Roth sang that in 1988.
He's DA MAN!!!!
Eeeeeeeeeee!
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