March 30: Cheetos
My son likes cheezies. Not the hard twisted orange things but the
vaguely cheese-flavoured snacks that are kind of puffy. You stick them
in your mouth and they just kind of melt. They're sort of like
Maltesers, only with cheese and salt.
They probably aren't very good for you and I'd be a much better daddy if I fed him yogurt and apple slices and broccoli. But my kid wants his cheezies. Can't deny him.
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One of the first signs of a food not being good for you is when it's promoted by a cartoon and/or fictional character. Everything McDonalds serves should be suspect for this reason. So should any breakfast cereal that has the word SUGAR in its title. (The jury is out on Orville Redenbacher since Orville was a real person and popcorn CAN be good for you if you don't wreck it with copious amounts of butter and salt and additives so that it tastes like paper.)
Because of this, I knew that Cheetos were bad for me as soon as I laid eyes on Chester, the Cheetos Cheetah.
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I'm not a big fan of Cheezies for one reason - I am famous for my aversion to cheese. I order my pizza without cheese and I am not ashamed of it and, over the years, I have created a few disciples for the church of cheeseless pizza. We are legion and we will crash your party next time you are showing all three Lord of the Rings movies back-to-back. (Apparently, this is a popular activity for church youth groups.)
I have it on good authority that all church youth groups will spend at least four weekends a year consuming copious amounts of pizza, soda, chips, and cheetos. They will spend much of Sunday evening burping and farting. Teenagers with braces will have orange gunk stuck underneath their braces for the next two months.
Blame Chester. It's his fault.
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Before my son announced that he is a cheese fan, I don't think I ever bought a bag of Cheetos. I have, however, bought lots of chips. Pringles are my favourite, even though lots of people call it "potato paste" and don't really consider them real chips. Old Dutch makes the best chips otherwise -salt and vinegar being the very best flavour there is.
I also like French Fries and mashed potatoes but I don't like potatoes when they're baked and I certainly don't like them when they're scalloped.
Here's how to make scalloped potatoes.
1. Slice potatoes and put them in milk.
2. Sprinkle cheese on them.
3. Add a whole bunch of crap that doesn't taste good.
4. Put them in the oven so they're burned as well as tasting awful.
Potatoes only taste good if they're bad for you.
They probably aren't very good for you and I'd be a much better daddy if I fed him yogurt and apple slices and broccoli. But my kid wants his cheezies. Can't deny him.
-
One of the first signs of a food not being good for you is when it's promoted by a cartoon and/or fictional character. Everything McDonalds serves should be suspect for this reason. So should any breakfast cereal that has the word SUGAR in its title. (The jury is out on Orville Redenbacher since Orville was a real person and popcorn CAN be good for you if you don't wreck it with copious amounts of butter and salt and additives so that it tastes like paper.)
Because of this, I knew that Cheetos were bad for me as soon as I laid eyes on Chester, the Cheetos Cheetah.
-
I'm not a big fan of Cheezies for one reason - I am famous for my aversion to cheese. I order my pizza without cheese and I am not ashamed of it and, over the years, I have created a few disciples for the church of cheeseless pizza. We are legion and we will crash your party next time you are showing all three Lord of the Rings movies back-to-back. (Apparently, this is a popular activity for church youth groups.)
I have it on good authority that all church youth groups will spend at least four weekends a year consuming copious amounts of pizza, soda, chips, and cheetos. They will spend much of Sunday evening burping and farting. Teenagers with braces will have orange gunk stuck underneath their braces for the next two months.
Blame Chester. It's his fault.
-
Before my son announced that he is a cheese fan, I don't think I ever bought a bag of Cheetos. I have, however, bought lots of chips. Pringles are my favourite, even though lots of people call it "potato paste" and don't really consider them real chips. Old Dutch makes the best chips otherwise -salt and vinegar being the very best flavour there is.
I also like French Fries and mashed potatoes but I don't like potatoes when they're baked and I certainly don't like them when they're scalloped.
Here's how to make scalloped potatoes.
1. Slice potatoes and put them in milk.
2. Sprinkle cheese on them.
3. Add a whole bunch of crap that doesn't taste good.
4. Put them in the oven so they're burned as well as tasting awful.
Potatoes only taste good if they're bad for you.
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