March 14: Of popcorn, pretzels, and peppermint
I used to go to this restaurant where there was a plastic container
of foil-wrapped peppermint patties by the cash register. Each of the
patties was 25 cents and the proceeds went to charity.
More often than not, I would buy one. I can't say I'd have done the same if that container had popcorn or pretzels instead. I am generous, but I will not donate my money in exchange for something that tastes yucky.
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Not that I think popcorn or pretzels are yucky, I just don't want to eat them after a meal.
Most meals are salty, so popcorn and pretzels don't really compliment them.
Peppermint patties taste great after wolfing down a hamburger.
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Charles Schulz created his Peppermint Patty character after seeing a bowl of peppermint patties on a desk in his studio. She made her debut in Peanuts in the mid-1960s when the women's lib movement was at its height. I'm not sure if this was a victory or defeat for the so-called empowered women who felt their gender was under-represented in the competitive and testosterone-fueled world of comic strips (Cathy and For Better of For Worse were still more than 10 years away.) Yes Patty was a strong character. She was a tomboy who eschewed dresses (she once punched a kid for laughing at her on the one occasion she was forced to wear one) and she could easily ace any one of the boys at baseball. However, she was also incredibly stupid. I mean, how dense do you have to be to think a beagle is just a funny looking kid with a big nose?
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Great! Now I'm on the subject of Peanuts and that means that I have to go on and on about how it's the greatest comic strip of all time and Charles Schulz was the most influential person of the 20th century. I think his understanding of what it means to be human is on par with Shakespeare's. He was a genius.
And yes, his work started to suffer towards the end of his five-decade run. Perhaps it's mean of me to point this out, but I think it happened when he stopped considering himself an evangelical Christian and adopted a secular humanist worldview.
Imagine Archie quoting Plato. Or Garfield pondering the Psalms. Unthinkable.
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They once made a movie called RACE FOR YOUR LIFE CHARLIE BROWN and I think I went to see it in the theatre with some friends a long time ago. For some reason, I think we saw it without any parents present. I could be imagining that though.
I am happy this happened because it allows me to segue into a bit about popcorn.
-
Here is a lie:
There is no such thing as movie theatre style microwave popcorn. You can't make popcorn at home and make it taste like it's from a movie theatre. Haven't the dum-dums at Orville Redenbacher noticed that when you go into a movie theatre, the popcorn is being made in a big lovely grease-spotted glass cage? The popcorn maker is the centrepiece of the movie theatre's snack bar. See the popcorn bubble forth like lava? Smell it too? That's the smell of entertainment.
There's no point in getting a large popcorn, especially if you like butter (and if you don't like butter on your popcorn, you may as well not get popcorn. The whole point of buying popcorn in a movie theatre is to bankrupt yourself while increasing your cholesterol.) The reason for this is that the bigger the popcorn bag is, the smaller the ratio of butter-covered popcorn pieces to non butter-covered popcorn pieces.
My mom always hogs the butter-covered popcorn pieces. My sister does too. And this is why I like to go to the movies alone.
Also, I am a movie snob and I don't really want to see the latest Steven Spielberg summer blockbuster. To give you an idea as to how hip my movie tastes are, here is a poster from the film I am most anxious to see right now:
The movie is called 7 boxes. It is not about seven lesbians. It is a Paraguayan film about a young boy who will get $100 if he can transport seven nailed-shut crates from point A to point B in his wheelbarrow. I like foreign films because non-American filmmakers are unhampered by commerce. They want to make movies. They want to tell stories. Their goal is emphatically NOT to make a billion dollars and sniff cocaine off a movie star's boobies.
Not Jill Hennessy's though. She would NEVER allow that.
-
If you don't want to get popcorn at the movies, you could probably get pretzels at the snack bar. Sometimes the pretzels will be covered in chocolate or yogurt.
This is stupid. Salt and sugar should never meet. Decide if you want diabetes or high blood pressure.
You can't have both.
More often than not, I would buy one. I can't say I'd have done the same if that container had popcorn or pretzels instead. I am generous, but I will not donate my money in exchange for something that tastes yucky.
-
Not that I think popcorn or pretzels are yucky, I just don't want to eat them after a meal.
Most meals are salty, so popcorn and pretzels don't really compliment them.
Peppermint patties taste great after wolfing down a hamburger.
-
Charles Schulz created his Peppermint Patty character after seeing a bowl of peppermint patties on a desk in his studio. She made her debut in Peanuts in the mid-1960s when the women's lib movement was at its height. I'm not sure if this was a victory or defeat for the so-called empowered women who felt their gender was under-represented in the competitive and testosterone-fueled world of comic strips (Cathy and For Better of For Worse were still more than 10 years away.) Yes Patty was a strong character. She was a tomboy who eschewed dresses (she once punched a kid for laughing at her on the one occasion she was forced to wear one) and she could easily ace any one of the boys at baseball. However, she was also incredibly stupid. I mean, how dense do you have to be to think a beagle is just a funny looking kid with a big nose?
-
Great! Now I'm on the subject of Peanuts and that means that I have to go on and on about how it's the greatest comic strip of all time and Charles Schulz was the most influential person of the 20th century. I think his understanding of what it means to be human is on par with Shakespeare's. He was a genius.
And yes, his work started to suffer towards the end of his five-decade run. Perhaps it's mean of me to point this out, but I think it happened when he stopped considering himself an evangelical Christian and adopted a secular humanist worldview.
Imagine Archie quoting Plato. Or Garfield pondering the Psalms. Unthinkable.
The
best photograph ever taken. Charles Schulz, creator of history's
greatest comic strip - Peanuts - wearing a Calgary Flames jersey. If
Jill Hennessy was in the picture with him, I would die.
-
They once made a movie called RACE FOR YOUR LIFE CHARLIE BROWN and I think I went to see it in the theatre with some friends a long time ago. For some reason, I think we saw it without any parents present. I could be imagining that though.
I am happy this happened because it allows me to segue into a bit about popcorn.
-
Here is a lie:
There is no such thing as movie theatre style microwave popcorn. You can't make popcorn at home and make it taste like it's from a movie theatre. Haven't the dum-dums at Orville Redenbacher noticed that when you go into a movie theatre, the popcorn is being made in a big lovely grease-spotted glass cage? The popcorn maker is the centrepiece of the movie theatre's snack bar. See the popcorn bubble forth like lava? Smell it too? That's the smell of entertainment.
There's no point in getting a large popcorn, especially if you like butter (and if you don't like butter on your popcorn, you may as well not get popcorn. The whole point of buying popcorn in a movie theatre is to bankrupt yourself while increasing your cholesterol.) The reason for this is that the bigger the popcorn bag is, the smaller the ratio of butter-covered popcorn pieces to non butter-covered popcorn pieces.
My mom always hogs the butter-covered popcorn pieces. My sister does too. And this is why I like to go to the movies alone.
Also, I am a movie snob and I don't really want to see the latest Steven Spielberg summer blockbuster. To give you an idea as to how hip my movie tastes are, here is a poster from the film I am most anxious to see right now:
The movie is called 7 boxes. It is not about seven lesbians. It is a Paraguayan film about a young boy who will get $100 if he can transport seven nailed-shut crates from point A to point B in his wheelbarrow. I like foreign films because non-American filmmakers are unhampered by commerce. They want to make movies. They want to tell stories. Their goal is emphatically NOT to make a billion dollars and sniff cocaine off a movie star's boobies.
Not Jill Hennessy's though. She would NEVER allow that.
-
If you don't want to get popcorn at the movies, you could probably get pretzels at the snack bar. Sometimes the pretzels will be covered in chocolate or yogurt.
This is stupid. Salt and sugar should never meet. Decide if you want diabetes or high blood pressure.
You can't have both.
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