July 4: Stars and stripes
No one is ever going to accuse me of being the world's biggest soccer
fan. It's far too slow-moving of a game for me and I doubt I could
watch it for more than five minutes without getting bored. I've no idea
how it can be the most popular sport in the world when ice hockey is
much faster and much more exciting.
Even so, I take a passing interest in the FIFA World Cup, which comes around every four years. By passing interest I mean that I'll devote 15 seconds a day to checking the standings on the Internet. I might actually watch it if my team advanced to the finals but aside from that, I'll let the rest of the world's rabid soccer fans do the cheering for me.
Yes, this rambling preface has told you that there is a team I cheer for, however marginally, in the World Cup. That team is the United States of America.
Yep, you heard that right. This Canadian boy just admitted that he cheers for the States.
Anaethema.
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I was trying to figure out why I cheer for the States when it comes to soccer. Here are some of the reasons why:
1. Canada is probably at least a decade away from even making it into the qualifying round.
2. It's not ice hockey. If Canada is playing the States in ice hockey, I want the States to lose bad. In fact, I want the States to lose 49-0. To Norway.
3. Every Canadian is a fan of the United States, to some degree.
I get really pissed off when Canadians say "Man do I ever hate Americans. They're so bloody arrogant and stupid." Then they go home and watch Seinfeld on TV. Yep, real consistent anti-American sentiment there, Gordon. If you want to get all maple-leaf-forever, try switching your television over to CBC. You can catch the Labatt's Brier, the Beachcombers, or an old episode of King of Queens.
I also get really pissed off when the Americans score a goal when they're playing Team Canada at ice hockey.
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Listen:
My favourite movies are American movies.
My favourite musicians are American musicians (exception: Amanda Marshall.)
My favourite writers are Americans.
I do not feel that this makes me a bad Canadian. It offends me when someone says I should like this book or like this movie because it's Canadian. I will like it if it's a good book or a good movie. I won't like it just because the person who made it is from north of 49.
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And you know what else? I like Americans. I think America is okay. I wouldn't want to live there. If I have a heart attack, I don't want my family to empty their bank accounts to pay for my hospital stay. Also, I like freezing my ass off 10 months a year.
Even so, I take a passing interest in the FIFA World Cup, which comes around every four years. By passing interest I mean that I'll devote 15 seconds a day to checking the standings on the Internet. I might actually watch it if my team advanced to the finals but aside from that, I'll let the rest of the world's rabid soccer fans do the cheering for me.
Yes, this rambling preface has told you that there is a team I cheer for, however marginally, in the World Cup. That team is the United States of America.
Yep, you heard that right. This Canadian boy just admitted that he cheers for the States.
Anaethema.
-
I was trying to figure out why I cheer for the States when it comes to soccer. Here are some of the reasons why:
1. Canada is probably at least a decade away from even making it into the qualifying round.
2. It's not ice hockey. If Canada is playing the States in ice hockey, I want the States to lose bad. In fact, I want the States to lose 49-0. To Norway.
3. Every Canadian is a fan of the United States, to some degree.
I get really pissed off when Canadians say "Man do I ever hate Americans. They're so bloody arrogant and stupid." Then they go home and watch Seinfeld on TV. Yep, real consistent anti-American sentiment there, Gordon. If you want to get all maple-leaf-forever, try switching your television over to CBC. You can catch the Labatt's Brier, the Beachcombers, or an old episode of King of Queens.
I also get really pissed off when the Americans score a goal when they're playing Team Canada at ice hockey.
-
Listen:
My favourite movies are American movies.
My favourite musicians are American musicians (exception: Amanda Marshall.)
My favourite writers are Americans.
I do not feel that this makes me a bad Canadian. It offends me when someone says I should like this book or like this movie because it's Canadian. I will like it if it's a good book or a good movie. I won't like it just because the person who made it is from north of 49.
-
And you know what else? I like Americans. I think America is okay. I wouldn't want to live there. If I have a heart attack, I don't want my family to empty their bank accounts to pay for my hospital stay. Also, I like freezing my ass off 10 months a year.
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