July 29: Mulan vs. Pocahontas
Pocahontas is better than Mulan because Mulan is a Chinese legend and
China is bad because they are taking away all our manufacturing jobs
and they are killing babies because families aren’t allowed to have more
than one kid. This makes China bad.
Recently, I watched a documentary called It’s A Girl, which is about how often female fetuses get killed in India and China. In India it’s because of the stupid useless dowry system, which needs to be genocided from the face of the Earth. Sorry guys, but you don’t deserve a new car and a whole bunch of money just for marrying someone, that’s something you should buy yourself.
In China, fetuses with two X chromozones are often murdered because (a) families are only allowed to have one child and (b) couples would rather have sons than daughters. For this reason, female fetuses are murdered or female babies are thrown in dumpsters and left to die.
I have no idea how this note got so morbid. Maybe it’s because that documentary is so fresh in my memory.
So back to the original premise –Mulan vs Pocahontas. I just Google imaged the two and I think Pocahontas is prettier. Even so I wouldn’t date Pocahontas because I don’t date cartoon characters.
Actually, Pocahontas was a real person.She was a native who assimilated with the white culture around the end of the 17th century. She also married a white dude in what many consider to be the first inter-racial marriage ever recorded in North America. This a good thing.
The real story of Pocahontas is probably not a whole lot like the Disney cartoon. I doubt that the real Pocahontas sang Colours of the Wind to John Smith or handed him an adorable little bear cub (at least not without Momma Bear decapitating everyone’s favourite First Nations Disney princess.) However, the real life Pocahontas probably did know how to operate a canoe. Toward the end of her life, she converted to Christianity –which would necessitate her changing the pantheistic lyrics to Colours of the Wind.
After she converted, she changed her name to Rebecca. Probably because Pocahontas sounds kind of dirty, especially if it’s pronounced by a Scotsman without any teeth.
This might be the most offensive thing I’ve ever written for note-a-day.
Pocahontas stars in Purple Rain
Recently, I watched a documentary called It’s A Girl, which is about how often female fetuses get killed in India and China. In India it’s because of the stupid useless dowry system, which needs to be genocided from the face of the Earth. Sorry guys, but you don’t deserve a new car and a whole bunch of money just for marrying someone, that’s something you should buy yourself.
In China, fetuses with two X chromozones are often murdered because (a) families are only allowed to have one child and (b) couples would rather have sons than daughters. For this reason, female fetuses are murdered or female babies are thrown in dumpsters and left to die.
I have no idea how this note got so morbid. Maybe it’s because that documentary is so fresh in my memory.
So back to the original premise –Mulan vs Pocahontas. I just Google imaged the two and I think Pocahontas is prettier. Even so I wouldn’t date Pocahontas because I don’t date cartoon characters.
Actually, Pocahontas was a real person.She was a native who assimilated with the white culture around the end of the 17th century. She also married a white dude in what many consider to be the first inter-racial marriage ever recorded in North America. This a good thing.
The real story of Pocahontas is probably not a whole lot like the Disney cartoon. I doubt that the real Pocahontas sang Colours of the Wind to John Smith or handed him an adorable little bear cub (at least not without Momma Bear decapitating everyone’s favourite First Nations Disney princess.) However, the real life Pocahontas probably did know how to operate a canoe. Toward the end of her life, she converted to Christianity –which would necessitate her changing the pantheistic lyrics to Colours of the Wind.
After she converted, she changed her name to Rebecca. Probably because Pocahontas sounds kind of dirty, especially if it’s pronounced by a Scotsman without any teeth.
This might be the most offensive thing I’ve ever written for note-a-day.
Pocahontas stars in Purple Rain
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