July 22: Kings and Queens
Aerosmith wrote a song called Kings and Queens. It appears on their 1977 album Draw the Line.
Fun fact: My real name happens to be Steven Tyler. I was born in 1973, the year Aerosmith released its debut self-titled album. When I was a teenager, I really wanted to believe I was named after Aerosmith's lead singer, but my mother assures me that was just a coincidence.
My best friend, Jason, introduced me to Aerosmith when we were in Edmonton participating in a provincial junior high debating tournament (we were happening dudes, Jason and me.) We went into a record store and Jason came out with a copy of Aerosmith's Greatest Hits, which looked like this:
As soon as we got back to our hotel room, Jason insisted that I listen to Aerosmith's version of Walk This Way. I'd only heard the Run DMC version and Jason thought it was imperative that I listen to the original. Today, almost 30 years later, I think Walk This Way is one of the greatest rock and roll songs of all time.
I actually fell in love with Aerosmith at that moment and decided I was going to try to collect as many of their tapes as possible. This was easy thanks to this really kickass used music store where I was able to pick up cassette tapes of Night in the Ruts and Gems for under five bucks. Yes kids, I am from an era where, if you liked a band, you actually had to leave the house and go to the record store. There was none of this booting up the computer, clicking a couple buttons and - voila - it's on your iPod.
(Aside: At least once an hour, I wish I could drop a nuclear bomb on the technology factory and send us back to 1984. Life was still great. Remember what Kid Rock says: "We didn't have no internet but man I never will forget the way the moonlight shined upon her hair. Fifteen years from now, a new lyricist might pen: The moonlight played upon her hair, but you know I just wasn't there I was in my room and on the internet.)
Greatest Hits was my favourite Aerosmith tape until they released Permanent Vacation in 1989. I would have listened to Greatest Hits in my walkman on the daily walk to school but I usually walked with Jason so we spent our time talking instead. On one of those walks, I started singing Kings and Queens
Long ago in days I'm told
were ruled by Lord of greed
maidens fair with golden bears
they bared their wombs that bleed
Kings and Queens and guillotines
taking lives tonight
starch and parch he made it odd
while bishops went inside
And then Jason told me to shut up. Unlike me, he was a musician and he knew that I was afflicted with serious mondegreen.
"Those lyrics suck and Aerosmith would never write that," he said. Then he told me what the correct lyrics were:
Long ago in days I'm told
Were ruled by Lords of greed
Maidens fared with gold
They dared to bare their wombs that bleed
Kings and queens and guillotines
Taking lives denied
Starch and parchment laid the laws
When bishops took the ride
And so I stood corrected. However, I was still a 14-year-old nerd.
Listen, Aerosmith actually came to Calgary in 1990 and I scored tickets and I was so excited and I asked a bunch of girls if they wanted to go and they all turned me down and most of them did so because they were busy that night or they didn't care for Aerosmith or they already had boyfriends, but in my mind, they turned me down because they thought I was bad. But I did go with Nicole Joubert and we had a pretty grand time and on the C-train home, she told me that she and her sister had a ferret that they named Shiseido, which is a Japanese company that makes beauty products.
Wow. Great company. Reminds me of a rodent.
Perhaps it is odd that, as a magician, I think of Aerosmith when someone mentions Kings and Queens. What I should be thinking of is card tricks. When you start out in card magic, you learn the trick about how you stick the four kings in different parts of the deck and then you snap your fingers and suddenly, they are all together again. There are at least 45 different ways to perform this and my magical mentor, Paul Alberstat, knows every single method. (Paul will like this note because he always likes my notes.)
However, I am going to resist the urge to write yet another magical editorial here and just let this note stand as a sort of Aerosmith tribute.
Fun fact: My real name happens to be Steven Tyler. I was born in 1973, the year Aerosmith released its debut self-titled album. When I was a teenager, I really wanted to believe I was named after Aerosmith's lead singer, but my mother assures me that was just a coincidence.
My best friend, Jason, introduced me to Aerosmith when we were in Edmonton participating in a provincial junior high debating tournament (we were happening dudes, Jason and me.) We went into a record store and Jason came out with a copy of Aerosmith's Greatest Hits, which looked like this:
As soon as we got back to our hotel room, Jason insisted that I listen to Aerosmith's version of Walk This Way. I'd only heard the Run DMC version and Jason thought it was imperative that I listen to the original. Today, almost 30 years later, I think Walk This Way is one of the greatest rock and roll songs of all time.
I actually fell in love with Aerosmith at that moment and decided I was going to try to collect as many of their tapes as possible. This was easy thanks to this really kickass used music store where I was able to pick up cassette tapes of Night in the Ruts and Gems for under five bucks. Yes kids, I am from an era where, if you liked a band, you actually had to leave the house and go to the record store. There was none of this booting up the computer, clicking a couple buttons and - voila - it's on your iPod.
(Aside: At least once an hour, I wish I could drop a nuclear bomb on the technology factory and send us back to 1984. Life was still great. Remember what Kid Rock says: "We didn't have no internet but man I never will forget the way the moonlight shined upon her hair. Fifteen years from now, a new lyricist might pen: The moonlight played upon her hair, but you know I just wasn't there I was in my room and on the internet.)
Greatest Hits was my favourite Aerosmith tape until they released Permanent Vacation in 1989. I would have listened to Greatest Hits in my walkman on the daily walk to school but I usually walked with Jason so we spent our time talking instead. On one of those walks, I started singing Kings and Queens
Long ago in days I'm told
were ruled by Lord of greed
maidens fair with golden bears
they bared their wombs that bleed
Kings and Queens and guillotines
taking lives tonight
starch and parch he made it odd
while bishops went inside
And then Jason told me to shut up. Unlike me, he was a musician and he knew that I was afflicted with serious mondegreen.
"Those lyrics suck and Aerosmith would never write that," he said. Then he told me what the correct lyrics were:
Long ago in days I'm told
Were ruled by Lords of greed
Maidens fared with gold
They dared to bare their wombs that bleed
Kings and queens and guillotines
Taking lives denied
Starch and parchment laid the laws
When bishops took the ride
And so I stood corrected. However, I was still a 14-year-old nerd.
Listen, Aerosmith actually came to Calgary in 1990 and I scored tickets and I was so excited and I asked a bunch of girls if they wanted to go and they all turned me down and most of them did so because they were busy that night or they didn't care for Aerosmith or they already had boyfriends, but in my mind, they turned me down because they thought I was bad. But I did go with Nicole Joubert and we had a pretty grand time and on the C-train home, she told me that she and her sister had a ferret that they named Shiseido, which is a Japanese company that makes beauty products.
Wow. Great company. Reminds me of a rodent.Perhaps it is odd that, as a magician, I think of Aerosmith when someone mentions Kings and Queens. What I should be thinking of is card tricks. When you start out in card magic, you learn the trick about how you stick the four kings in different parts of the deck and then you snap your fingers and suddenly, they are all together again. There are at least 45 different ways to perform this and my magical mentor, Paul Alberstat, knows every single method. (Paul will like this note because he always likes my notes.)
However, I am going to resist the urge to write yet another magical editorial here and just let this note stand as a sort of Aerosmith tribute.
Comments
Post a Comment