January 6: Wanderlust
I went to Ireland in the late summer of 2004. I went there even
though I am less than a quarter Irish. I am mostly English but England
never called to me. Ireland did. I think everyone has a part of the
world that calls to them. I will test that theory now.
I just asked two people. One said Finland. The other said Australia. I have more respect for the person who said Finland. If you go to Finland, you have to do interesting things like look at snow, play hockey, play in the snow, and visit the Miikka Kiprusoff Museum of Really Awesome Goaltenders.
People who want to vacation in Australia just want to lie on beaches and listen to INXS.
*
I have written extensively about my Irish adventures and I will not bore you further with a rehashed travelogue. Now that I am a parent,I doubt I'll ever have the chance to visit more faraway lands so my memories of Ireland will have to do.
*
I saw a naked girl in Ireland.
It was at the hostel in a village called Athlone. I'd slept there the previous night; I was on a mattress and sharing the room with about23 other young people. At night, that room became a breathing, snoring, farting mass. The next morning I discovered that there were girls in there too. In Europe, people don't get their knickers in a knot over co-ed sleeping arrangements. North America is much more Calvinistic.
The next morning, I went downstairs for breakfast and then spent the afternoon complaining about the rain. When I went back to my room to change my clothes, I discovered a naked girl standing there. She was brushing her hair. She was not embarrassed at my sudden presence but she wasn't exactly happy to see me either. I got my stuff and left.That evening, I saw her in the TV room and apologized to her.
“For what?” she asked.
*
Fun fact: If you went to the moon and took a picture of the Earth, within the boundaries of that image would be everyone alive and everyone whoever lived. The only exception would be you. The American astronaut Michael Collins is, to my knowledge, the only person to accomplish this feat. He took a picture of his fellow astronauts Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong descending to the moon in their capsule. In the background, the shimmering blue-green orb we call Earth.
On the Earth was Ireland, Canada, and my parents.
*
What is wanderlust? It is a desire to travel, to see the world and other cultures.
If you want to go to England or France or China or Thailand or South Africa or Denmark, you have wanderlust. If you want to go to Jamaica or Barbados, you don't. You just want to get a tan while waiters in white shirts serve you pineapple drinks.
*
I was the last in my family to visit overseas.
My parents went to Italy when I was in high school. Then my sister got to tour England with her marching band when she was 16. My brother was next. He toured Australia for a good six months shortly after graduating high school.
Me, I was in my 30s by the time I crossed the pond.
I could feel jealous but that's a waste of a soul. Besides, the vast majority of people in this world are stuck in their local villages. Many of them may not even know there are such things as oceans.
*
And if you think you have a case of wanderlust, I should introduce you to my fellow Calgarian, Mike Spencer Bown, who may very well be the most well-traveled man in human history.
This cat spent 23 years away from home. In that time, he visited every single country on Earth. He didn't just visit them either, he immersed himself in their cultures.
You think you like to travel? Do you insist on five-star hotels or hostels? When Mike Bown went to Africa, he lived with pygmies and hunted antelope with spears. He slept in leaf huts.
“People are basically good and worth knowing whatever the race or culture they hail from,” Bown told The Calgary Sun.
Basically,he spent the past 23 years learning one vital lesson: We are all the same.
Not a bad way to spend your life.
*
Jesus never traveled more than 150 miles from his hometown.
I wonder if that would be the case if they had airplanes 2,000 years ago.
*
I spent two weeks in Ireland and if I could do it all over again, I would not have traveled so much in the country. I wanted to see so much of it that I spent more time on buses and not enough just enjoying things.
My favourite memories of Ireland, in no particular order:
*
Am I still afflicted with wanderlust? Maybe a bit. But it's my own country I want to see. Prince Edward Island, the Northwest Territories, the British Columbia coast. I heard about a guided canoe trip through Alaska and the Yukon that looks like a dream come true.
*
They say it's a small world, the Earth is dwarfed by Jupiter, the sun, and stars even bigger than the sun.
But I am 5'6” and 165 pounds and I say that it is a big big world and that I feel very small when I stand beside the ocean.
Somewhere up there in the cosmos, big ole Jupiter continues to spin as it orbits the sun.
Confession:I don't care about Jupiter at all. Not when I haven't seen the Yukon yet.
I just asked two people. One said Finland. The other said Australia. I have more respect for the person who said Finland. If you go to Finland, you have to do interesting things like look at snow, play hockey, play in the snow, and visit the Miikka Kiprusoff Museum of Really Awesome Goaltenders.
People who want to vacation in Australia just want to lie on beaches and listen to INXS.
The only Finn with a last name you can spell on your first try.
*
I have written extensively about my Irish adventures and I will not bore you further with a rehashed travelogue. Now that I am a parent,I doubt I'll ever have the chance to visit more faraway lands so my memories of Ireland will have to do.
*
I saw a naked girl in Ireland.
It was at the hostel in a village called Athlone. I'd slept there the previous night; I was on a mattress and sharing the room with about23 other young people. At night, that room became a breathing, snoring, farting mass. The next morning I discovered that there were girls in there too. In Europe, people don't get their knickers in a knot over co-ed sleeping arrangements. North America is much more Calvinistic.
The next morning, I went downstairs for breakfast and then spent the afternoon complaining about the rain. When I went back to my room to change my clothes, I discovered a naked girl standing there. She was brushing her hair. She was not embarrassed at my sudden presence but she wasn't exactly happy to see me either. I got my stuff and left.That evening, I saw her in the TV room and apologized to her.
“For what?” she asked.
*
Fun fact: If you went to the moon and took a picture of the Earth, within the boundaries of that image would be everyone alive and everyone whoever lived. The only exception would be you. The American astronaut Michael Collins is, to my knowledge, the only person to accomplish this feat. He took a picture of his fellow astronauts Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong descending to the moon in their capsule. In the background, the shimmering blue-green orb we call Earth.
On the Earth was Ireland, Canada, and my parents.
*
What is wanderlust? It is a desire to travel, to see the world and other cultures.
If you want to go to England or France or China or Thailand or South Africa or Denmark, you have wanderlust. If you want to go to Jamaica or Barbados, you don't. You just want to get a tan while waiters in white shirts serve you pineapple drinks.
*
I was the last in my family to visit overseas.
My parents went to Italy when I was in high school. Then my sister got to tour England with her marching band when she was 16. My brother was next. He toured Australia for a good six months shortly after graduating high school.
Me, I was in my 30s by the time I crossed the pond.
I could feel jealous but that's a waste of a soul. Besides, the vast majority of people in this world are stuck in their local villages. Many of them may not even know there are such things as oceans.
*
And if you think you have a case of wanderlust, I should introduce you to my fellow Calgarian, Mike Spencer Bown, who may very well be the most well-traveled man in human history.
I've been everywhere, man...
This cat spent 23 years away from home. In that time, he visited every single country on Earth. He didn't just visit them either, he immersed himself in their cultures.
You think you like to travel? Do you insist on five-star hotels or hostels? When Mike Bown went to Africa, he lived with pygmies and hunted antelope with spears. He slept in leaf huts.
“People are basically good and worth knowing whatever the race or culture they hail from,” Bown told The Calgary Sun.
Basically,he spent the past 23 years learning one vital lesson: We are all the same.
Not a bad way to spend your life.
*
Jesus never traveled more than 150 miles from his hometown.
I wonder if that would be the case if they had airplanes 2,000 years ago.
*
I spent two weeks in Ireland and if I could do it all over again, I would not have traveled so much in the country. I wanted to see so much of it that I spent more time on buses and not enough just enjoying things.
My favourite memories of Ireland, in no particular order:
- Meeting
this girl named Maria who was stranded in Galway after missing her bus
to Dublin. I looked after her and bought her supper and walked her to
the bus station at two in the morning so she could get on another bus
and be with her friends again. I am still friends with Maria, who is
almost 30 now.
- Doing card tricks for all sorts of people. My favourite was this stunning brunette named Shiva who I met in a pub in Athol.
- Visiting a shrine in Knock that was allegedly once visited by Mary, Joseph and St. John the Evangelist. Today it a hub of commercialism with lots of entrepreneurs selling holy water and statuettes outside the shrine.
- Doing my darnedest to cycle the Ring of Kerry and giving up a quarter of the way through due to constant rain and a bike that kept breaking down.
- The naked girl.
- Going to St. Mary's Cathedral in Ennis. It was built in 1168 and was probably the oldest building I've ever been in.
- Watching the Canadian men's hockey team beat Slovakia in the first game of the World Cup of Hockey. It was my last day in Ireland and I wouldn't have known where to watch it had I not spied three men in Team Slovakia jerseys entering a pub. We watched the game together and we were friends even though they lost to Canada.
- My very first pint of Guinness.
- Visiting the Irish Writers' Museum and the James Joyce Museum in Dublin.
- The Winding Stair Bookshop where the walls were papered with pages torn from British books.
Shiva on the left.
*
Am I still afflicted with wanderlust? Maybe a bit. But it's my own country I want to see. Prince Edward Island, the Northwest Territories, the British Columbia coast. I heard about a guided canoe trip through Alaska and the Yukon that looks like a dream come true.
*
They say it's a small world, the Earth is dwarfed by Jupiter, the sun, and stars even bigger than the sun.
But I am 5'6” and 165 pounds and I say that it is a big big world and that I feel very small when I stand beside the ocean.
Somewhere up there in the cosmos, big ole Jupiter continues to spin as it orbits the sun.
Confession:I don't care about Jupiter at all. Not when I haven't seen the Yukon yet.
Ya know... right now I don't care if it's cold.
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