January 30: There are more chickens than people
You never see a chicken die of old age.
Chickens are stupid and that's probably a good thing. We kill millions of 'em a day and then we eat them and shit them out. A chicken's life is meaningless. Unlike cows, they don't even get to stand around in a field and say moo. A chicken's life is pretty much cluck cluck head-cut-off.
Right now there are over 50 billion chickens in the world. People eat chicken everywhere. The best way to eat chicken is from a restaurant in Calgary called Chicken on the Way. Calgary is the best city in the world. If Calgary was a woman, I would be married to her.
THAT is Chicken on the Way. Holy smokes doesn't that look at least ten billion times better than what you get at KFC? Seriously, the people at Chicken on the Way should PAY me to advocate for them. My facebook notes have probably sent more people to them than TV advertising.
This one time I was working at a hotel as a shuttle bus driver and I had just picked up a little league team from Texas and the coach asked me if there was a KFC nearby because he wanted to treat his team to fried chicken and I told him that there was a KFC nearby but that he shouldn't go there because he was in Calgary and that is home to the best fried chicken in the world.
Get this... I told him to wait until I was done my shift. Then I got the coach to get in my personal car and I drove him, off duty, to Chicken on the Way so he could buy 8 yellow boxes to feed his team. And the next day, he told me how great Chicken on the Way is that every one of his players loved it. Then he gave me a back massage. I'm kidding.
About 13 years later, I went to the Anchor Bar in Buffalo, NY because, apparently, it is where the buffalo wings began. I ordered some and they were average at best. The best wings I ever had were at the Point & Feather pub in Calgary back when Cade worked there. I'm not sure what he put in those wings. He said he had a very special sauce that he used just for me.
I feel like tickling someone right now. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
When you eat Chicken on the Way, you have to wash it down with grape pop. Now grape pop is the stupidest thing ever. Someone once said: "Hey, I'd love to drink some grape juice but I also want it to give me diabetes." That's how grape pop was born. And Fanta.
Here come the chickens
Chickens are stupid and that's probably a good thing. We kill millions of 'em a day and then we eat them and shit them out. A chicken's life is meaningless. Unlike cows, they don't even get to stand around in a field and say moo. A chicken's life is pretty much cluck cluck head-cut-off.
Right now there are over 50 billion chickens in the world. People eat chicken everywhere. The best way to eat chicken is from a restaurant in Calgary called Chicken on the Way. Calgary is the best city in the world. If Calgary was a woman, I would be married to her.
THAT is Chicken on the Way. Holy smokes doesn't that look at least ten billion times better than what you get at KFC? Seriously, the people at Chicken on the Way should PAY me to advocate for them. My facebook notes have probably sent more people to them than TV advertising.
This one time I was working at a hotel as a shuttle bus driver and I had just picked up a little league team from Texas and the coach asked me if there was a KFC nearby because he wanted to treat his team to fried chicken and I told him that there was a KFC nearby but that he shouldn't go there because he was in Calgary and that is home to the best fried chicken in the world.
Get this... I told him to wait until I was done my shift. Then I got the coach to get in my personal car and I drove him, off duty, to Chicken on the Way so he could buy 8 yellow boxes to feed his team. And the next day, he told me how great Chicken on the Way is that every one of his players loved it. Then he gave me a back massage. I'm kidding.
About 13 years later, I went to the Anchor Bar in Buffalo, NY because, apparently, it is where the buffalo wings began. I ordered some and they were average at best. The best wings I ever had were at the Point & Feather pub in Calgary back when Cade worked there. I'm not sure what he put in those wings. He said he had a very special sauce that he used just for me.
I feel like tickling someone right now. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
When you eat Chicken on the Way, you have to wash it down with grape pop. Now grape pop is the stupidest thing ever. Someone once said: "Hey, I'd love to drink some grape juice but I also want it to give me diabetes." That's how grape pop was born. And Fanta.
Here come the chickens
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