January 16: Whatever happened to hugs?
I'm always surprised when someone wants to hug me. Most of the time
it's pleasantly surprised. If I suspect you're a pickpocket or if you're
covered in moldy cheese or if you haven't bathed since 1994, I may not
want to hug you. Otherwise, hugging is fun.
On Christmas Day, I was at this church function and I saw a friend who was volunteering there with her little sister. I went over to say hello and something in my mannerism must have told the little sister that I wanted a hug. She hugged me. It was a perfectly good hug. That hug said Merry Christmas. It made me happy.
Once in Calgary, Char and I were dropping her seven-year-old daughter off at her dad's place. Before the daughter got out of the car, she jumped into the front seat to hug me. I will always remember that hug.
There used to be a little boy in Kingston who I would visit once a month and whenever I left, he was so sad to see me go that he would hug me to death. He is not a little boy anymore. I miss his hugs.
In junior high, there was the phenomenon of the prolonged twirling hug, which was called the slow dance. My first slow dance was in grade 7 and the girl's name was Nancy. It was a greaser dance and I was the only one in grade 7 who had made an effort to come to school dressed as a greaser. I felt like an idiot. Then Nancy told me I looked cute and she slow danced with me.
In grade 8, I fell in love with a grade 9 girl named Keri, who has disappeared into life. Keri had long brown hair and she was an amazing dancer and once I asked her to dance and it wound up being a slow song and I thought Keri was going to reject me but she didn't and I decided that I was going to ask her to dance every slow song with me and she did and then her boyfriend got jealous and told me to stop but he was nice about it.
Like most straight dudes, there was a time when I was uncomfortable hugging other dudes. Actually, church probably cured me of that. Lots of dudes hug at church. After graduating high school, I went to a Christian theatre guild school called the Rosebud School of the Arts. That place was the Hug Capital of Canada. Everyone was hug happy there.
Get this... there is an electronic sweater out there that can actually mimic different people's hugs. What happens is you put the sweater on and then you have someone hug you. A computer in the sweater remembers what the hug feels like and when you press the recall button, it stimulates various wires and fibres in your sweater to give you a pretty decent facsimile of that hug. You could program your sweater to simulate hugs from your mom, dad, girlfriend, teddy bear, friendly neighbourhood newspaper editor or proctologist. Take your pick.
Did you know that when someone pats your back when they hug you, they are telling you to let go? Seriously. If you hug someone and they pat your back immediately, it probably means they never wanted to hug you in the first place. Avoid those people. Do not go to Burger King with them.
Once I hugged Marie Fredrikkson, the lead singer of Roxette. She is the most famous person I ever hugged. I almost got to hug Amanda Marshall but that didn't transpire.
Anyway I am probably not a good hugger because I am a little man. I am TINY. I am five-foot-six and about 150 pounds. Once when I was in theatre school, we had just finished a play and I went to hug one of the actresses and I held her tight and I lifted her in the air and she farted.
This is probably a good place to share Shel Silverstein's poem Hug O War.
I will not play at tug o' war.
I'd rather play at hug o' war,
Where everyone hugs
Instead of tugs,
Where everyone giggles
And rolls on the rug,
Where everyone kisses,
And everyone grins,
And everyone cuddles,
And everyone wins.
Whatever happened to hugs? Nothing. They're still around. Hugs aren't going anywhere anytime soon.
But sometimes I feel like I don't deserve them.
On Christmas Day, I was at this church function and I saw a friend who was volunteering there with her little sister. I went over to say hello and something in my mannerism must have told the little sister that I wanted a hug. She hugged me. It was a perfectly good hug. That hug said Merry Christmas. It made me happy.
Once in Calgary, Char and I were dropping her seven-year-old daughter off at her dad's place. Before the daughter got out of the car, she jumped into the front seat to hug me. I will always remember that hug.
There used to be a little boy in Kingston who I would visit once a month and whenever I left, he was so sad to see me go that he would hug me to death. He is not a little boy anymore. I miss his hugs.
In junior high, there was the phenomenon of the prolonged twirling hug, which was called the slow dance. My first slow dance was in grade 7 and the girl's name was Nancy. It was a greaser dance and I was the only one in grade 7 who had made an effort to come to school dressed as a greaser. I felt like an idiot. Then Nancy told me I looked cute and she slow danced with me.
In grade 8, I fell in love with a grade 9 girl named Keri, who has disappeared into life. Keri had long brown hair and she was an amazing dancer and once I asked her to dance and it wound up being a slow song and I thought Keri was going to reject me but she didn't and I decided that I was going to ask her to dance every slow song with me and she did and then her boyfriend got jealous and told me to stop but he was nice about it.
Like most straight dudes, there was a time when I was uncomfortable hugging other dudes. Actually, church probably cured me of that. Lots of dudes hug at church. After graduating high school, I went to a Christian theatre guild school called the Rosebud School of the Arts. That place was the Hug Capital of Canada. Everyone was hug happy there.
Get this... there is an electronic sweater out there that can actually mimic different people's hugs. What happens is you put the sweater on and then you have someone hug you. A computer in the sweater remembers what the hug feels like and when you press the recall button, it stimulates various wires and fibres in your sweater to give you a pretty decent facsimile of that hug. You could program your sweater to simulate hugs from your mom, dad, girlfriend, teddy bear, friendly neighbourhood newspaper editor or proctologist. Take your pick.
Did you know that when someone pats your back when they hug you, they are telling you to let go? Seriously. If you hug someone and they pat your back immediately, it probably means they never wanted to hug you in the first place. Avoid those people. Do not go to Burger King with them.
Once I hugged Marie Fredrikkson, the lead singer of Roxette. She is the most famous person I ever hugged. I almost got to hug Amanda Marshall but that didn't transpire.
Anyway I am probably not a good hugger because I am a little man. I am TINY. I am five-foot-six and about 150 pounds. Once when I was in theatre school, we had just finished a play and I went to hug one of the actresses and I held her tight and I lifted her in the air and she farted.
This is probably a good place to share Shel Silverstein's poem Hug O War.
I will not play at tug o' war.
I'd rather play at hug o' war,
Where everyone hugs
Instead of tugs,
Where everyone giggles
And rolls on the rug,
Where everyone kisses,
And everyone grins,
And everyone cuddles,
And everyone wins.
Whatever happened to hugs? Nothing. They're still around. Hugs aren't going anywhere anytime soon.
But sometimes I feel like I don't deserve them.
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