January 13: Human Ape
As further evidence as to what a hip cat I am, let me tell you what I
did with the Amazon gift certificate my sister sent me for Christmas: I
bought books on Christian theology. To my credit, I also bought David
Mamet's On Directing Film but for the most part, Shteevie's latest
Amazon delivery looked like what St. Augustine might have purchased had
he lived to see 2014.
I'm a big fan of Zondervan's counterpoints series, which is where Christian theologians with opposing views share their opinions on controversial topics within Christendom. After they defend their views, they get to pick apart the perspectives of their colleagues. It's great fun and I even managed to befriend one of the contributors from the book about the Canaanite genocide (hi Tremper Longman III.)
Now I'm the first to admit that I'm a big stupid idiot and I'm way too dumb to wade into the minefield that is comparative theology. I guess if I had a brain like Walter Martin's or Hendrik van der Breggen, I might be able to rub some sticks together and make some fire. As it stands right now, I'll probably just find an opinion in one of these books and adopt it as my own.
The counterpoints volume I am reading right now is called Four Views on the Historical Adam. I was disappointed to see it's just a repacking of the God vs. evolution debate. One guy, the one arguing for theistic evolution, says there's no historic Adam. The other three say there was one but one of them is a Young Earth Creationist, the other is an Old Earth Creationist and the other says that Adam and Eve are more archetypes than they are historical personages. I don't think I'm a Young Earth Creationist but I don't quite think I'm a theistic evolutionist either. Maybe when I finish reading this volume, I'll have an idea as to where I stand.
*
This note is called Human Ape. The title was given to me by someone on a discussion board I belong to. This person calls himself "butt hair." I don't think that's his real name.
There is a blogger out there called Human Ape and he has a blog that is vehemently anti-religion and pro-evolution. He is also an unapologetic capitalist and social Darwinist who urges his readers never to give anything to a charity "unless that charity is yourself." He has suggested that religious people - Christians and Muslims in particular - should be put to death and, ladies and gentlemen of the jury - I hope he is employing hyperbole.
Human Ape might find this blog just as he found the discussion group butt hair and I belong to. If he does, I hope he favours me with one of his trademark foul mouthed rebuttals. A butt hair response is a thing of beauty. Filthy and a little incoherent but still a thing of beauty.
As an act of good will toward Mr. Human Ape, I will reply, as him, to everything I wrote above the asterix. My impression of Human Ape is below:
"Shteevie. You're a stupid drooling moron and you should be shot and killed. You're a coward just like all Christians. You believe in heaven (which makes terrorism possible) and your stupid god of the gaps is an idiot. Evolution is a fact and it makes Christians cry because there all idiots (I have never met a Christian who isn't an ignorant drooling moron.) Go read Jerry Coyne's book and stop telling kids that evolution was caused by your magic invisible god waving his fairy wand."
*
I am ashamed that it took me more than 40 years of life before I finally did some research on the so-called God of the Gaps, which is a theological perspective that gaps in scientific knowledge must be proof of God's existence. There will always be gaps, which means that insecure Christians who feel like they're playing endgames with atheists can always hide in one of those shrinking gaps.
I'm not a fan of the God of the Gaps theory because it kills the scientific spirit. I believe that God made the sun, but that doesn't really tell me much about the sun. I believe that Leonardo Da Vinci painted the Mona Lisa but I don't think I'd end there, especially if I was an art historian. I'd want to know how he painted it, what time of day it was, what kind of paint he used, and if he was listening to Yanni.
Put another way, try this for a multiple choice question:
Q. Why did MacBeth kill King Duncan?
a. Because he heard a prophecy that he would be king of Scotland and this ruthless ambition, coupled with his psychotic wife's encouragement, compelled him to commit murder.
b. Because that's the way Shakespeare wrote it.
Both answers are perfectly correct but only one of them is satisfactory. We imagine that the question was asked because someone wants to learn about the play's dramatic structure. Simply telling him that Shakespeare wrote it is a cop out. It doesn't make our poor student any wiser. But it also doesn't have to make us lose respect for Shakespeare or think of him as any less than the greatest writer the English language has ever known.
*
I've been told that the human eye is not well designed.
I've been told that there is great cruelty and suffering in the animal kingdom, that there is evil in the world, that planet Earth is a speck of dust suspended in a sunbeam. That the infinite can be found in time and space, that we are a speck within a speck within a speck in an ever expanding universe.
I've been told that life is meaningless.
Martin Luther once told Erasmus that his thoughts of God were too human.
As for me, I don't care how big the universe is. I care that I feel small when I stand beside the ocean. I don't care that my eye has a blind spot or that I can't see as well as a bald eagle. I care that I can watch a movie or appreciate a rose garden or a rainbow or a sunset. I don't care if life is meaningless. I care that when I fed my 11-month old son last night and put him to bed, that I probably did the most important thing I've ever done in my life.
I have heard that Shakespeare might not have been a real person. That he was an archetype for a number of iambic pentameter-mad writers who wanted to shake up the world with some Elizabethan art.
Well, I want Shakespeare to exist. The fact that there are geniuses like him and Mozart and Prince and Leonard Cohen and Wayne Gretzky out there - that's proof to me that there is a god.
Kurt Vonnegut would have called them divine accidents.
Even if he had to say it while suspended in a sunbeam.
I'm a big fan of Zondervan's counterpoints series, which is where Christian theologians with opposing views share their opinions on controversial topics within Christendom. After they defend their views, they get to pick apart the perspectives of their colleagues. It's great fun and I even managed to befriend one of the contributors from the book about the Canaanite genocide (hi Tremper Longman III.)
Now I'm the first to admit that I'm a big stupid idiot and I'm way too dumb to wade into the minefield that is comparative theology. I guess if I had a brain like Walter Martin's or Hendrik van der Breggen, I might be able to rub some sticks together and make some fire. As it stands right now, I'll probably just find an opinion in one of these books and adopt it as my own.
The counterpoints volume I am reading right now is called Four Views on the Historical Adam. I was disappointed to see it's just a repacking of the God vs. evolution debate. One guy, the one arguing for theistic evolution, says there's no historic Adam. The other three say there was one but one of them is a Young Earth Creationist, the other is an Old Earth Creationist and the other says that Adam and Eve are more archetypes than they are historical personages. I don't think I'm a Young Earth Creationist but I don't quite think I'm a theistic evolutionist either. Maybe when I finish reading this volume, I'll have an idea as to where I stand.
Shteevie is boring. Here's proof.
*
This note is called Human Ape. The title was given to me by someone on a discussion board I belong to. This person calls himself "butt hair." I don't think that's his real name.
There is a blogger out there called Human Ape and he has a blog that is vehemently anti-religion and pro-evolution. He is also an unapologetic capitalist and social Darwinist who urges his readers never to give anything to a charity "unless that charity is yourself." He has suggested that religious people - Christians and Muslims in particular - should be put to death and, ladies and gentlemen of the jury - I hope he is employing hyperbole.
Human Ape might find this blog just as he found the discussion group butt hair and I belong to. If he does, I hope he favours me with one of his trademark foul mouthed rebuttals. A butt hair response is a thing of beauty. Filthy and a little incoherent but still a thing of beauty.
As an act of good will toward Mr. Human Ape, I will reply, as him, to everything I wrote above the asterix. My impression of Human Ape is below:
"Shteevie. You're a stupid drooling moron and you should be shot and killed. You're a coward just like all Christians. You believe in heaven (which makes terrorism possible) and your stupid god of the gaps is an idiot. Evolution is a fact and it makes Christians cry because there all idiots (I have never met a Christian who isn't an ignorant drooling moron.) Go read Jerry Coyne's book and stop telling kids that evolution was caused by your magic invisible god waving his fairy wand."
*
I am ashamed that it took me more than 40 years of life before I finally did some research on the so-called God of the Gaps, which is a theological perspective that gaps in scientific knowledge must be proof of God's existence. There will always be gaps, which means that insecure Christians who feel like they're playing endgames with atheists can always hide in one of those shrinking gaps.
I'm not a fan of the God of the Gaps theory because it kills the scientific spirit. I believe that God made the sun, but that doesn't really tell me much about the sun. I believe that Leonardo Da Vinci painted the Mona Lisa but I don't think I'd end there, especially if I was an art historian. I'd want to know how he painted it, what time of day it was, what kind of paint he used, and if he was listening to Yanni.
Yanni: proof that God exists. Eight million women can't be wrong.
Put another way, try this for a multiple choice question:
Q. Why did MacBeth kill King Duncan?
a. Because he heard a prophecy that he would be king of Scotland and this ruthless ambition, coupled with his psychotic wife's encouragement, compelled him to commit murder.
b. Because that's the way Shakespeare wrote it.
Both answers are perfectly correct but only one of them is satisfactory. We imagine that the question was asked because someone wants to learn about the play's dramatic structure. Simply telling him that Shakespeare wrote it is a cop out. It doesn't make our poor student any wiser. But it also doesn't have to make us lose respect for Shakespeare or think of him as any less than the greatest writer the English language has ever known.
*
I've been told that the human eye is not well designed.
I've been told that there is great cruelty and suffering in the animal kingdom, that there is evil in the world, that planet Earth is a speck of dust suspended in a sunbeam. That the infinite can be found in time and space, that we are a speck within a speck within a speck in an ever expanding universe.
I've been told that life is meaningless.
Martin Luther once told Erasmus that his thoughts of God were too human.
As for me, I don't care how big the universe is. I care that I feel small when I stand beside the ocean. I don't care that my eye has a blind spot or that I can't see as well as a bald eagle. I care that I can watch a movie or appreciate a rose garden or a rainbow or a sunset. I don't care if life is meaningless. I care that when I fed my 11-month old son last night and put him to bed, that I probably did the most important thing I've ever done in my life.
I have heard that Shakespeare might not have been a real person. That he was an archetype for a number of iambic pentameter-mad writers who wanted to shake up the world with some Elizabethan art.
I'm a genius. No one can dispute that. Even if Hamlet is the most overrated play ever.
Well, I want Shakespeare to exist. The fact that there are geniuses like him and Mozart and Prince and Leonard Cohen and Wayne Gretzky out there - that's proof to me that there is a god.
Kurt Vonnegut would have called them divine accidents.
Even if he had to say it while suspended in a sunbeam.
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