July 6: Tractor practice

 Sometime in late September, something called the International Plowing Match will descend upon the small Ontario community of North Grenville. "International" is a bit of misnomer since the event is overseen by the Ontario Plowmen's Association. When you go to the match, chances are you're not going to see plowmen from Norway or Iceland or Chad, but you will meet a few from the United Counties of Stormont, Dundas, and Glengarry.

Now the International Plowing Match is surely the grand finale of more localized plowing matches across the country. I try to think of it as the Stanley Cup Finals of plowing but I'm probably wrong about that. I think you have to qualify to attend by placing well at one of the smaller matches, but I might be wrong about that too. One thing I'm not wrong about is that if you want to perform well at the International Plowing Match, you'll need lots of tractor practice.

I have covered plowing matches for the newspaper where I work. I can tell you that the International Plowing Match is more than just plowing. There's a Queen of the Furrow competition (it's not a beauty contest, it's to pick a young woman who will be an advocate for the event.) There's a tented city that's packed with vendors and live entertainment. There's RV parking and a whole lot of quilts. But the spotlight shines brightest on the plowing itself, which is a contest to see who can plow the best line in the soil.

That's right. Read that again. It's a contest to see who can plow the best line in the soil.

Boring, you say? Ridiculous, you say? Well, sure, if the IPM were televised, it wouldn't touch the ratings of the Stanley Cup Finals or the Super Bowl, but you could still argue that those activities are as "ridiculous" as the International Plowing Match.

Take the National Football League for example. The NFL is all about having a whole bunch of men on a field. The men are divided into two teams. One team is trying to carry a ball to another end of the field. The other team is trying to stop them from moving the ball to the other end of the field. Sometimes, the teams will switch objectives. At the end of 60 minutes, whoever has done the better job of moving the ball to the other end of the field will be declared the victor.

That sounds boring on paper. In practice, it is one of the most beloved activities in the United States of America. Several citizens even go to great pains to ensure their social lives don't conflict with game time.

There are variations to football. There's basketball, where one team tries to shoot ball through a hoop and the other team tries to stop them from doing it. There's another game called baseball where one man throws a ball at another man, who tries to hit with a stick; if he hits it, he wins the right to run around the field for a bit. There's another game called soccer, where one team tries to kick a ball into a net and another team tries to stop them from doing so. All of these aforementioned activities are ridiculously popular. The people who enjoy watching them spend billions of dollars every year on their beloved games.

But those games don't feed cities. Farmers do. Some farmers grow crops. Some farmers raise livestock, who must be fed by crops. Either way, crops are essential and all crops begin the same way - with seed planted in the soil.

Soil that has first been plowed.

You might not be fascinated by what goes on the fields at the International Plowing Match, but you should be grateful for it. On the surface, it might look like a friendly competition among farmers. Deep down, it's a celebration of the most important and necessary industry on Earth.