So here I am sitting at AH* after a long day at the AV.** My kid spent hours bouncing on the IS*** and he ate THD.**** When we got home, Ash wanted me to make KDAPRABPFM&M*****, so that is what I did.
* Ashley's house.
** Avonmore Fair.
*** Inflatable structures.
**** Two hot dogs.
***** Kraft Dinner and Pizza Rolls and Baked Potatoes from M&M.
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Yeah, so acronyms these days are hard. They are particularly hard during June, which is Pride Month. This is because every year, more letters get added to the acronym. I think now it's LGBTQ2S++BOOGABOOGA! I don't know. I miss the days when acronyms were simple. USA meant America, even though the U and the S are supposed to modify that America. U and S stands for United States. But between the United States part and the America part is this word: "of." This means that America is much bigger than the United States. The Americas reach as far north as the Nunavut in Canada and as far south as the tip of Argentina. There is a North America and a South America and a Central America. Referring to the USA as America is bad because the landmass of the USA only makes up part of America.
America was named after an Italian explorer named Amerigo Vespucci, who looked like this:
Somehow, the go in Americo became a ca. Not sure how that happened, but oh well. If I was so influential that pretty much all the land in the western hemisphere was named after me, the last thing I'd care about would be history messing up one of the syllables in my name.
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Canada is the northernmost country on the continent of North Stevan.
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But back to acronyms.
I used to play an acronym game with a friend I had in Kingston. We'd be sitting on the couch watching TV and I would put a piece of paper down on the coffee table and I would write a bunch of acronyms on it and then I would draw arrows pointing to the things the acronyms were for. RC was Remote Control. POC was Pack of Cigarettes. GOW was Glass of Water. BMOOON was Bowl Made out of Old Newspapers. And so on.
I played this game because I was bored, it was ridiculous, and I could usually make my friend laugh, both with the pointlessness of the game and the imaginativeness of the acronyms. Eventually, the game moved out of the apartment and into other venues, most notably a Chinese restaurant somewhere in Hamilton. When it took the kitchen staff an exceedingly long time to bring us our meal, I helped the time pass by playing the acronym game on the back of a placemat (which had a red dragon on the front.)
TFOT = Teapot Full of Tea.
GWSICPMJ = Grumpy Waiter Sitting in Corner Playing Mah Jong
SOBBFD = Statue of Buddha by Front Door
CS = Chopsticks
BOLRLHOTB = Bunch of Little Red Lanterns Hanging Over the Bar.
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This title was given to me by my friend, Kat, who I have known since 1993. It has been nearly three decades of friendship with Kat. Here are some acronyms that Kat has experienced in her life recently.
IFFPB = Injured Foot from Playing Baseball
LOBWAIFFPB = Lots of Bat Words After Injuring Food from Playing Baseball
WBJLAG = Watched Blue Jays Lose Another Game
KAPOSIS = Kickass performance onstage in Strathmore
NLHSOCS = No longer has crush on Christian Slater
ALMNEWTO = Always likes my notes, even when they're offensive
HLSNDWSUTCSAIACALP = Has Little Sister named Deb who she used to call Squirt and is a Capricorn and like piggies
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And since I am at Ashley's house, I will use some acronyms for her.
CESTBUNM: can't eat spicy things because... uhhh... never mind.
SOCTTCDWIWNAD: Sitting on couch talking to cousin Daryl while I write note-a-day
WPCMABARTN: Will probably call me a butthead after reading this note
MOCKE: Mom of cutest kid ever
YKYCT: Yes Kelsey, you're cute too
FOOHCHKIASHWA: Freaking out over how cute her kid is and smothering him with affection.
WTGST: Wants to go swimming tomorrow.
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