Dec. 23: Crazy love
I was challenged to write about crazy things I did for love and all I
can think about is what a doofus I was when I was in high school. There
was this girl named Dawn Noelle and I was pretty much ga-ga for her for
three whole years. I hate thinking about it today because it makes me
realize that I threw my entire high school dating career down the drain.
I'm not saying that I would have been a teenaged casanova at Bishop
Grandin High School had I not been smitten by Dawn Noelle, but I'd like
to think I might have dated one or two ladies during my time in those
hallowed halls.
I met Dawn in my Grade 10 French class. She was wearing white pants and I think she was a big fan of INXS, but I'm not sure. I remember thinking she had a beautiful smile and really nice brown eyes. Heck, I probably thought of her as Aphrodite. I was the only one in my circle of friends to see such unparalleled beauty in her.
I remember the day I asked her for a date. It was early 1989 and I was standing by the stairway of the high school's upper landing. The class change bell rang. I waited for Dawn to walk by. She did. I called her over. I asked her for a date and she said no.
Actually, she said she had plans. She was babysitting on the Friday and going to a dance on the Saturday. I wish I had the temerity to ask her if she'd like me to ask her again and, of course, I wish I had the discipline to accept a no as a final answer. But I just couldn't get her off my mind.
Later that year, I read an article in my mom's copy of Redbook. It said that women like getting flowers on their birthday and they like getting them on Valentine's Day but they especially like getting them for no reason at all. I decided that I was going to call a florist and arrange to have a dozen red roses sent to Dawn Noelle at Bishop Grandin. I shared my plan with my friend, Jason, and he pled with me not to do it - that it would do nothing but embarrass the heck out of me and Dawn Noelle. Happily, I listened to him and that is why I am still alive today.
Prom night was not a happy night for me. The reason for that had nothing to do with Dawn. Still, I went to the after prom party at a place called Stavro's at the Southland Crossing and Dawn Noelle was there in her pearl-coloured prom dress and I asked her if she would dance with me and she said yes and she smiled when she danced with me and I looked in her eyes and I didn't see any hatred so I was thankful for that.
Years later, I became friends with some of Dawn's old friends on Facebook. One of them told me that I irritated Dawn but I never creeped her out. Everyone intuited that my love for Dawn was innocent and, surprisingly, unrivaled. My love for Dawn was purer than the hockey players she dated exclusively throughout her high school career. Of course, I never knew Dawn. I'd fallen in love with a face from a magazine. Perhaps that's for the best.
I am going to type an asterix soon. After the asterix, I will cut and paste my memoirs of Dawn Noelle. I wrote it seven years ago. Some of the information will be repeated. Some of the names were changed. It is okay.
*
And I never asked Dawn Noelle for a date after that and I tried to fall out of love with her but I couldn’t do it because she was so beautiful and once I walked up to the school’s parking lot directly behind her and her new boyfriend, whose name was Scott and who also played hockey,and I stared at the ground as I walked because I didn’t want her to think I was following her and she was never mean to me even though I could tell she wished I would leave her alone.
And once I wandered into a drug store because I needed to buy some playing cards for my magic act and I went up to the clerk who was stocking shelves and asked if they had any cards and the clerk turned around and it was Dawn Noelle and she said that yes they did and she led me over to a shelf and I said “it’s okay, Dawn, I’ll buy them somewhere else and I’m sorry for disturbing you” and then I left.
And then it was high school graduation and I’d been pursuing Dawn, off and on, for almost three years and after the graduation ceremony I asked if I could get my picture taken with her and she agreed and I asked if she would smile and she said that she would and she blushed a little because she knew I would always be the number one fan of her smile.
And at the aftergrad party I asked her if she would dance with me and she said that she would even though she was there with yet another boyfriend and Dawn was wearing a cream-coloured dress and she wasas beautiful as a girl could be and then she smiled at me and for one second I felt like I was in heaven.
And that summer I wrote a novel about my high school experiences and it was terrible teenaged angst but I dedicated the novel to her and then I looked her up in the phone book and I stopped by her house and I gave her the book and she was surprised to see me there and I gave her the book and she said that she didn’t know I wrote and I told her that I did and I thought maybe she’d invite me in and we could talk and she would tell me that she made a bad choice by not dating me in high school because I was a sweet guy who wrote novels but then her boyfriend showed up and I decided to leave and that was probably a good thing.
And a few years later I got a job doing magic tricks in a restaurant and it turned out that Dawn was working there and I asked her if she’d read the novel and she said that she did and that she enjoyed it and I sensed it was a lie because the novel was a piece of shit but Dawn Noelle has always been polite to a fault and maybe that’s one of the reasons I remember her so fondly.
And
after I was done showing magic to people, I went into the pub next door
and Dawn was there and she came over and sat next to me and I thought
it was great that she was actually coming over to talk tome of her own
volition.
And we talked for a while and she told me she was moving back to Manitoba where she was born and I asked her if she would let me take her out to dinner before she left, strictly as friends, and she said that she would but we never did.
And that’s the last I ever saw of Dawn Noelle and sometimes I wonder what became of her and I imagine she is probably married and if she is I hope that her husband tells her everyday that she has a beautiful smile.
*
Addendum: I am Facebook friends with Dawn Noelle today. Dawn Noelle probably will not read this and that is fine. I will not tag her in this note. She IS married now and I am happy for her.
I met Dawn in my Grade 10 French class. She was wearing white pants and I think she was a big fan of INXS, but I'm not sure. I remember thinking she had a beautiful smile and really nice brown eyes. Heck, I probably thought of her as Aphrodite. I was the only one in my circle of friends to see such unparalleled beauty in her.
I remember the day I asked her for a date. It was early 1989 and I was standing by the stairway of the high school's upper landing. The class change bell rang. I waited for Dawn to walk by. She did. I called her over. I asked her for a date and she said no.
Actually, she said she had plans. She was babysitting on the Friday and going to a dance on the Saturday. I wish I had the temerity to ask her if she'd like me to ask her again and, of course, I wish I had the discipline to accept a no as a final answer. But I just couldn't get her off my mind.
Later that year, I read an article in my mom's copy of Redbook. It said that women like getting flowers on their birthday and they like getting them on Valentine's Day but they especially like getting them for no reason at all. I decided that I was going to call a florist and arrange to have a dozen red roses sent to Dawn Noelle at Bishop Grandin. I shared my plan with my friend, Jason, and he pled with me not to do it - that it would do nothing but embarrass the heck out of me and Dawn Noelle. Happily, I listened to him and that is why I am still alive today.
Prom night was not a happy night for me. The reason for that had nothing to do with Dawn. Still, I went to the after prom party at a place called Stavro's at the Southland Crossing and Dawn Noelle was there in her pearl-coloured prom dress and I asked her if she would dance with me and she said yes and she smiled when she danced with me and I looked in her eyes and I didn't see any hatred so I was thankful for that.
Years later, I became friends with some of Dawn's old friends on Facebook. One of them told me that I irritated Dawn but I never creeped her out. Everyone intuited that my love for Dawn was innocent and, surprisingly, unrivaled. My love for Dawn was purer than the hockey players she dated exclusively throughout her high school career. Of course, I never knew Dawn. I'd fallen in love with a face from a magazine. Perhaps that's for the best.
I am going to type an asterix soon. After the asterix, I will cut and paste my memoirs of Dawn Noelle. I wrote it seven years ago. Some of the information will be repeated. Some of the names were changed. It is okay.
*
This one time in high school, I fell in love with a girl in my French class named Dawn Noelle.
And Dawn Noelle always wore white pants and she had a beautiful smile and I told everyone that I thought she was beautiful.
And I was in drama class one day and Dawn’s friend, Joanne, was there and Joanne teased me because she knew I had a crush on Dawn and I asked her how she knew that and she said that everyone knew and that it was very obvious and I was embarrassed again and I thought Dawn would be mad at me and this made me sad.
And Joanne told me that Dawn didn’t have a boyfriend and I didn’t know if Joanne was encouraging me or if she was just setting me up for a fall but I assumed that she was setting me up because I was paranoid that everyone hated me in high school and I was right because they did.
And then I decided that I was going to ask Dawn Noelle for a date and I did that on February 10 of 1989 and I went to school wearing a tight pair of blue jeans and a white surfing T-shirt and the brown leather jacket with an airplane picture on the back that I got for Christmas and I wore this because I thought I looked hot in that jacket and I lost that jacket somewhere and I don’t know where it is and I wish I could find it so I could look hot in it again even though it’s probably too small for me now and now I will stop reminiscing and get back to the story of Dawn Noelle.
And I had a spare for second period and I knew that Dawn had a class on the third floor so I went over to the banister that overlooks the stairs and I waited there and I practised what I was going to say to Dawn and then the bell rang and students started to pour into the landing and one of them was Dawn and she was wearing her white pants again and she was alone and this was good because I hadn’t practised what I would say to Dawn if she had a friend with her.
And I called Dawn over and she walked over tome and I told her that I liked her and I asked her if she would like to go to dinner and a movie with me that night (which was a Friday) and she said that she had to babysit that night and I asked about Saturday and she said she was going to a dance and I said alright and I asked if I could ask her out again sometime and she said “sure” and then she went away.
And then I put my walkman on because I wanted to be alone because I was feeling vulnerable and I went downstairs and my friend Michelle was there and she asked what I was listening to and I told her it was Aerosmith and she took my headphones and started listening to it and I wanted to tell Michelle about Dawn not going out with me but I didn’t because I thought she would laugh at me and this would make me sad.
And then it was lunchtime and my friend Mike came up to me to ask what happened between Dawn and I and I told him that Dawn told me she had plans and I wondered if she was just making excuses and he told me that she probably wasn’t because most people have their weekend plans set up by Friday and I told him that I didn’t and Mike rolled his eyes and told me that I was different from most people and this is the truest thing anyone has ever said about me.
And Dawn Noelle always wore white pants and she had a beautiful smile and I told everyone that I thought she was beautiful.
And I was in drama class one day and Dawn’s friend, Joanne, was there and Joanne teased me because she knew I had a crush on Dawn and I asked her how she knew that and she said that everyone knew and that it was very obvious and I was embarrassed again and I thought Dawn would be mad at me and this made me sad.
And Joanne told me that Dawn didn’t have a boyfriend and I didn’t know if Joanne was encouraging me or if she was just setting me up for a fall but I assumed that she was setting me up because I was paranoid that everyone hated me in high school and I was right because they did.
And then I decided that I was going to ask Dawn Noelle for a date and I did that on February 10 of 1989 and I went to school wearing a tight pair of blue jeans and a white surfing T-shirt and the brown leather jacket with an airplane picture on the back that I got for Christmas and I wore this because I thought I looked hot in that jacket and I lost that jacket somewhere and I don’t know where it is and I wish I could find it so I could look hot in it again even though it’s probably too small for me now and now I will stop reminiscing and get back to the story of Dawn Noelle.
And I had a spare for second period and I knew that Dawn had a class on the third floor so I went over to the banister that overlooks the stairs and I waited there and I practised what I was going to say to Dawn and then the bell rang and students started to pour into the landing and one of them was Dawn and she was wearing her white pants again and she was alone and this was good because I hadn’t practised what I would say to Dawn if she had a friend with her.
And I called Dawn over and she walked over tome and I told her that I liked her and I asked her if she would like to go to dinner and a movie with me that night (which was a Friday) and she said that she had to babysit that night and I asked about Saturday and she said she was going to a dance and I said alright and I asked if I could ask her out again sometime and she said “sure” and then she went away.
And then I put my walkman on because I wanted to be alone because I was feeling vulnerable and I went downstairs and my friend Michelle was there and she asked what I was listening to and I told her it was Aerosmith and she took my headphones and started listening to it and I wanted to tell Michelle about Dawn not going out with me but I didn’t because I thought she would laugh at me and this would make me sad.
And then it was lunchtime and my friend Mike came up to me to ask what happened between Dawn and I and I told him that Dawn told me she had plans and I wondered if she was just making excuses and he told me that she probably wasn’t because most people have their weekend plans set up by Friday and I told him that I didn’t and Mike rolled his eyes and told me that I was different from most people and this is the truest thing anyone has ever said about me.
And that night my family
and I went out to a perogy restaurant and then we went to the Calgary
Winter Festival because Calgary was celebrating the first anniversary of
the Winter Olympics and I had a miserable time because I kept wondering
if Dawn Noelle was really babysitting or if she was out with a guy who
was better looking than me.
And then it was Monday and I decided I was going to ask Dawn Noelle for another date but this time I was going to give her two weeks notice and not just ask her to go out with me the next night.
And I went up to her locker but she was talking to two big blond guys who were better looking than me and one of them looked like the lead singer from Def Leppard so I walked past her and went home and the next day the two blond guys were talking to Dawn again and one of them looked at me and said “Hey, kid, I hear you like my sister” and I said “yeah, I do” and then I walked on and I felt good because I had been bold.
And then the next day there was a sock hop and Dawn Noelle was there and I asked her to dance and she said “maybe later” and I said “okay” and I got the impression that I was embarrassing her so I went to sit on one of the bleachers and I sat there by myself and I tried not to watch her dancing but it was hard and then a girl named Julie came over and Julie didn’t like me and she always called me “slimebucket” and she said “Do you know that girl that you like?” and I said “yes” and she said “She wants you to leave her alone” and Julie was happy telling me this because she liked to see me miserable and so I just nodded my head and Julie walked away and then I waited for Dawn to stop dancing and when she did I went up and asked if I could talk to her and she said sure and we went to a secluded spot in the gym and I told her that I was sorry for embarrassing her and that I would leave her alone and I was hoping she would tell me that I wasn’t embarrassing her and that she really liked me but instead she just said “thanks” and she smiled but the smile wasn’t beautiful anymore and then she walked away and this made me sad.
And I left the dance and I walked home and it was cold out and I resolved to put Dawn Noelle out of my mind but I wasn’t able to because she was so beautiful.
And then it was Monday and I decided I was going to ask Dawn Noelle for another date but this time I was going to give her two weeks notice and not just ask her to go out with me the next night.
And I went up to her locker but she was talking to two big blond guys who were better looking than me and one of them looked like the lead singer from Def Leppard so I walked past her and went home and the next day the two blond guys were talking to Dawn again and one of them looked at me and said “Hey, kid, I hear you like my sister” and I said “yeah, I do” and then I walked on and I felt good because I had been bold.
And then the next day there was a sock hop and Dawn Noelle was there and I asked her to dance and she said “maybe later” and I said “okay” and I got the impression that I was embarrassing her so I went to sit on one of the bleachers and I sat there by myself and I tried not to watch her dancing but it was hard and then a girl named Julie came over and Julie didn’t like me and she always called me “slimebucket” and she said “Do you know that girl that you like?” and I said “yes” and she said “She wants you to leave her alone” and Julie was happy telling me this because she liked to see me miserable and so I just nodded my head and Julie walked away and then I waited for Dawn to stop dancing and when she did I went up and asked if I could talk to her and she said sure and we went to a secluded spot in the gym and I told her that I was sorry for embarrassing her and that I would leave her alone and I was hoping she would tell me that I wasn’t embarrassing her and that she really liked me but instead she just said “thanks” and she smiled but the smile wasn’t beautiful anymore and then she walked away and this made me sad.
And I left the dance and I walked home and it was cold out and I resolved to put Dawn Noelle out of my mind but I wasn’t able to because she was so beautiful.
And a week later I decided that I should
apologize further to Dawn and so I walked beside her in the hall and I
said I was sorry again and she said it was okay and I also told her that
her smile wasn’t the only reason I liked her and she said that she’d
gathered that and I also told her it wasn’t because she always wore
white pants and she said that she didn’t always wear white pants and I
told her I knew that and that there was a nice outfit she wore a month
back that was pink with a black belt but then I stopped talking because I
thought I was probably scaring her so I said goodbye and I went to
drama class where I learned that I’d been cast in the lead role in the
school play which was a high school drama about a boy who asks a girl in
his class out for a date and I thought that this was remarkably true to
life except for in the play, the girl said yes.
And I got to kiss a girl onstage in the play and for the longest time the girl that I kissed hated me and made my life miserable but then when the play was ready to open, the actress apologized for being mean to me and we patched things up and she said that she knew the girl I liked and I said “oh” and I felt bad because I didn’t want everyone to know I was suffering from unrequited love.
And then the play opened and Joanne was one of the ticket sellers and I asked her if Dawn was going to be there that night and Joanne smiled and said that she wasn’t and this made me sad because I wanted Dawn to see me kiss another girl onstage and maybe feel a little jealous.
And then one of the co-stars in the play told me that he saw Dawn earlier that night and she was sitting on the back of a hockey player’s motorbike and that she and the hockey player were kissing and I told my co-star how appreciative I was to have this information especially since I didn’t own a motorcycle, a car, or even a driver’s license.
And then Dawn started coming to school wearing her hockey player boyfriend’s hockey jacket and the hockey player’s name was Andy and they dated for a while and then one day she showed up without the hockey player’s jacket and she looked sad and I thought it was probably because Andy was no longer her boyfriend and I wanted to offer her a word of consolation but I didn’t and to this day I’m still not sure if that was wise or not.
And then I read an article in a newspaper about how women love to get flowers at work and so I told my friend Mike that I was thinking about sending a dozen red roses to Dawn’s classroom on Valentine’s Day and Mike told me that my gesture, noble as it were, would probably not be appreciated and I listened to Mike that one time and this was probably a good thing.
And then Aerosmith announced that they were going to do a concert in Calgary and I was able to get two tickets and I was super confident because I didn’t think any girl could resist a man with Aerosmith tickets so I went up to Dawn Noelle and asked if she liked Aerosmith and she said that she did and I asked her if she’d like to go to the Aerosmith concert with me and she said that she couldn’t because she had a new boyfriend and he’d probably get jealous and I had an urge to sweep her off her feet and tell her to break up with the guy because I was sure I loved her more than she did but of course I didn’t and this was probably a wise move on my part.
And
then I heard that Dawn had broken up with her boyfriend and I thought
that maybe, just maybe, I could get a date with her now but when I went
to school the next day, I saw her holding hands with the guy who looked
like the lead singer from Def Leppard and so I looked at my chances of
ever dating Dawn Noelle and I said: “fuck that.”And I got to kiss a girl onstage in the play and for the longest time the girl that I kissed hated me and made my life miserable but then when the play was ready to open, the actress apologized for being mean to me and we patched things up and she said that she knew the girl I liked and I said “oh” and I felt bad because I didn’t want everyone to know I was suffering from unrequited love.
And then the play opened and Joanne was one of the ticket sellers and I asked her if Dawn was going to be there that night and Joanne smiled and said that she wasn’t and this made me sad because I wanted Dawn to see me kiss another girl onstage and maybe feel a little jealous.
And then one of the co-stars in the play told me that he saw Dawn earlier that night and she was sitting on the back of a hockey player’s motorbike and that she and the hockey player were kissing and I told my co-star how appreciative I was to have this information especially since I didn’t own a motorcycle, a car, or even a driver’s license.
And then Dawn started coming to school wearing her hockey player boyfriend’s hockey jacket and the hockey player’s name was Andy and they dated for a while and then one day she showed up without the hockey player’s jacket and she looked sad and I thought it was probably because Andy was no longer her boyfriend and I wanted to offer her a word of consolation but I didn’t and to this day I’m still not sure if that was wise or not.
And then I read an article in a newspaper about how women love to get flowers at work and so I told my friend Mike that I was thinking about sending a dozen red roses to Dawn’s classroom on Valentine’s Day and Mike told me that my gesture, noble as it were, would probably not be appreciated and I listened to Mike that one time and this was probably a good thing.
And then Aerosmith announced that they were going to do a concert in Calgary and I was able to get two tickets and I was super confident because I didn’t think any girl could resist a man with Aerosmith tickets so I went up to Dawn Noelle and asked if she liked Aerosmith and she said that she did and I asked her if she’d like to go to the Aerosmith concert with me and she said that she couldn’t because she had a new boyfriend and he’d probably get jealous and I had an urge to sweep her off her feet and tell her to break up with the guy because I was sure I loved her more than she did but of course I didn’t and this was probably a wise move on my part.
And I never asked Dawn Noelle for a date after that and I tried to fall out of love with her but I couldn’t do it because she was so beautiful and once I walked up to the school’s parking lot directly behind her and her new boyfriend, whose name was Scott and who also played hockey,and I stared at the ground as I walked because I didn’t want her to think I was following her and she was never mean to me even though I could tell she wished I would leave her alone.
And once I wandered into a drug store because I needed to buy some playing cards for my magic act and I went up to the clerk who was stocking shelves and asked if they had any cards and the clerk turned around and it was Dawn Noelle and she said that yes they did and she led me over to a shelf and I said “it’s okay, Dawn, I’ll buy them somewhere else and I’m sorry for disturbing you” and then I left.
And then it was high school graduation and I’d been pursuing Dawn, off and on, for almost three years and after the graduation ceremony I asked if I could get my picture taken with her and she agreed and I asked if she would smile and she said that she would and she blushed a little because she knew I would always be the number one fan of her smile.
And at the aftergrad party I asked her if she would dance with me and she said that she would even though she was there with yet another boyfriend and Dawn was wearing a cream-coloured dress and she wasas beautiful as a girl could be and then she smiled at me and for one second I felt like I was in heaven.
And that summer I wrote a novel about my high school experiences and it was terrible teenaged angst but I dedicated the novel to her and then I looked her up in the phone book and I stopped by her house and I gave her the book and she was surprised to see me there and I gave her the book and she said that she didn’t know I wrote and I told her that I did and I thought maybe she’d invite me in and we could talk and she would tell me that she made a bad choice by not dating me in high school because I was a sweet guy who wrote novels but then her boyfriend showed up and I decided to leave and that was probably a good thing.
And a few years later I got a job doing magic tricks in a restaurant and it turned out that Dawn was working there and I asked her if she’d read the novel and she said that she did and that she enjoyed it and I sensed it was a lie because the novel was a piece of shit but Dawn Noelle has always been polite to a fault and maybe that’s one of the reasons I remember her so fondly.
And we talked for a while and she told me she was moving back to Manitoba where she was born and I asked her if she would let me take her out to dinner before she left, strictly as friends, and she said that she would but we never did.
And that’s the last I ever saw of Dawn Noelle and sometimes I wonder what became of her and I imagine she is probably married and if she is I hope that her husband tells her everyday that she has a beautiful smile.
*
Addendum: I am Facebook friends with Dawn Noelle today. Dawn Noelle probably will not read this and that is fine. I will not tag her in this note. She IS married now and I am happy for her.
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