Dec. 19: Tolerance vs acceptance
A gay predator once stalked me for an hour while I was performing
magic in a bar. At one point, he cornered me and pretty much demanded
that I accompany him to a place "more intimate." I explained to him that
I wasn't interested and that I was straight. He was nonplussed. "That
doesn't matter to me," he said. "I like straight boys."
The dude wouldn't take no for an answer and eventually I had to use some pretty ugly language to get my point across. I told that story to a lady friend and she was unsympathetic. "Now you know what women experience every time they walk into a bar," she said.
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My lady friend was right. I have seen men do unspeakably horrible things to women to punish them for the crime of not sleeping with them. On Electric Avenue in my native Calgary, I saw a former classmate punch a girl because she wouldn't succumb to his lame pickup lines. Once, while doing magic at Claudio's restaurant (also in Calgary) a gal in her early 20s, approached me, grabbed my hand, and forced me into a booth. "Pretend you're my boyfriend," she said. "Some macho jerk is trying to pick me up and he will not leave me alone."
So I sat with her and I talked to her and I did pseudo-boyfriend things (like hold her hand) and eventually the macho jerk found us. He was terribly offended that the girl had rejected him for someone else, so he focused his ire on me. He called me a loser. He called me a faggot. He bet tried to pick a fight. Then a bouncer showed up and kicked him out. "Thanks," the girl said. She didn't leave me her phone number.
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Tolerance is not the same as acceptance. Tolerance means that you are allowing something unpleasant to exist. When I was a kid, my mom tolerated me having a messy room from time-to-time. When people drive with me in my car, they sometimes have to tolerate my 80s music. We all have to tolerate telemarketers. Ontarians have to tolerate Kathleen Wynne.
Acceptance, on the other hand, means that you are totally happy something exists. You can never ask someone to accept something because that means you want them to change their entire value system just to please you. But you can ask them to tolerate something.
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The Bible tells us that God will tolerate sin for a little while but eventually, the cup will overflow and then it will be lights out.
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When I was a teenager, I was waiting for a train at the Heritage C-Train station. I started talking to a Sikh, who was wearing a purple turban and a security guard's outfit. I'd seen Sikhs before (there were plenty of 'em in Calgary) but I had no idea what they believed (this was before the internet.) So I asked him. He sat me down and he told me there were a few tenets of Sikhism but the most important thing was tolerance. Before I could ask what he had to tolerate, the train came.
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When most people ask for tolerance, they're really asking for acceptance.
There's a bit of a foofaraw in Alberta about whether or not Catholic schools should be forced to have Gay-Straight Alliance clubs. The sticking point is that if Catholic schools are going to accept public funding, then they must adhere to the secular values that governments hold. Never mind that the Catholic holy book describes homosexuality as an abomination. Now they have to allow GSA clubs or risk losing public funding.
What I don't understand is why gay students would want to attend a Catholic school in the first place. It's a bit like a vegan going to meatcutting school.
When the gay marriage debate started heating up at the beginning of this brave new millennium, advocates said they weren't interested in forcing churches to perform gay marriages; they merely wanted the right to get married in a venue of their own choosing.
I thought they dropped the ball there. If a church refuses to perform a gay wedding, it sure won't make headlines. Some progressives might roll their eyes and accuse the church of being bigoted or behind the times, but life will go on.
Imagine what would happen if a church refused to perform an inter-racial marriage. Letters to the editor. Human Rights Complaints. Interview requests from CNN. Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson on TV, talking about what a travesty this is.
Booyaw!
-
The most important thing my riding's former MP, Don Boudria, ever did was issue a Private Member's bill that would protect hospital employees who did not want to participate in abortions. To wit: "Every person who directly or indirectly requires a physician, nurse, staff member or employee of a hospital or other health care facility to perform or participate directly or indirectly in an abortion procedure is guilty of an indictable offence and is liable to imprisonment for a term not exceeding two years."
The bill did not pass.
I used to think that in America, the Freedom of Choice Act would require Catholic hospitals to perform abortions. Apparently, it won't. American medical practitioners are free to follow their own consciences when issues like abortion come up.
Do you tolerate that?
Do you accept it?
The dude wouldn't take no for an answer and eventually I had to use some pretty ugly language to get my point across. I told that story to a lady friend and she was unsympathetic. "Now you know what women experience every time they walk into a bar," she said.
-
My lady friend was right. I have seen men do unspeakably horrible things to women to punish them for the crime of not sleeping with them. On Electric Avenue in my native Calgary, I saw a former classmate punch a girl because she wouldn't succumb to his lame pickup lines. Once, while doing magic at Claudio's restaurant (also in Calgary) a gal in her early 20s, approached me, grabbed my hand, and forced me into a booth. "Pretend you're my boyfriend," she said. "Some macho jerk is trying to pick me up and he will not leave me alone."
So I sat with her and I talked to her and I did pseudo-boyfriend things (like hold her hand) and eventually the macho jerk found us. He was terribly offended that the girl had rejected him for someone else, so he focused his ire on me. He called me a loser. He called me a faggot. He bet tried to pick a fight. Then a bouncer showed up and kicked him out. "Thanks," the girl said. She didn't leave me her phone number.
-
Tolerance is not the same as acceptance. Tolerance means that you are allowing something unpleasant to exist. When I was a kid, my mom tolerated me having a messy room from time-to-time. When people drive with me in my car, they sometimes have to tolerate my 80s music. We all have to tolerate telemarketers. Ontarians have to tolerate Kathleen Wynne.
Acceptance, on the other hand, means that you are totally happy something exists. You can never ask someone to accept something because that means you want them to change their entire value system just to please you. But you can ask them to tolerate something.
-
The Bible tells us that God will tolerate sin for a little while but eventually, the cup will overflow and then it will be lights out.
-
When I was a teenager, I was waiting for a train at the Heritage C-Train station. I started talking to a Sikh, who was wearing a purple turban and a security guard's outfit. I'd seen Sikhs before (there were plenty of 'em in Calgary) but I had no idea what they believed (this was before the internet.) So I asked him. He sat me down and he told me there were a few tenets of Sikhism but the most important thing was tolerance. Before I could ask what he had to tolerate, the train came.
-
When most people ask for tolerance, they're really asking for acceptance.
There's a bit of a foofaraw in Alberta about whether or not Catholic schools should be forced to have Gay-Straight Alliance clubs. The sticking point is that if Catholic schools are going to accept public funding, then they must adhere to the secular values that governments hold. Never mind that the Catholic holy book describes homosexuality as an abomination. Now they have to allow GSA clubs or risk losing public funding.
What I don't understand is why gay students would want to attend a Catholic school in the first place. It's a bit like a vegan going to meatcutting school.
When the gay marriage debate started heating up at the beginning of this brave new millennium, advocates said they weren't interested in forcing churches to perform gay marriages; they merely wanted the right to get married in a venue of their own choosing.
I thought they dropped the ball there. If a church refuses to perform a gay wedding, it sure won't make headlines. Some progressives might roll their eyes and accuse the church of being bigoted or behind the times, but life will go on.
Imagine what would happen if a church refused to perform an inter-racial marriage. Letters to the editor. Human Rights Complaints. Interview requests from CNN. Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson on TV, talking about what a travesty this is.
Booyaw!
-
The most important thing my riding's former MP, Don Boudria, ever did was issue a Private Member's bill that would protect hospital employees who did not want to participate in abortions. To wit: "Every person who directly or indirectly requires a physician, nurse, staff member or employee of a hospital or other health care facility to perform or participate directly or indirectly in an abortion procedure is guilty of an indictable offence and is liable to imprisonment for a term not exceeding two years."
The bill did not pass.
I used to think that in America, the Freedom of Choice Act would require Catholic hospitals to perform abortions. Apparently, it won't. American medical practitioners are free to follow their own consciences when issues like abortion come up.
Do you tolerate that?
Do you accept it?
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