May 9: The bishop of Mars
The late Christian apologist Walter Martin once said that if there is
alien life on other planets, there would be serious implications for
the Christian faith. He said that's because the Bible is silent about
life on other planets. He wondered, if there's intelligent life on Mars
or such, what this would do to the doctrine of justification by faith.
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I have written before about Ray Bradbury and how he differentiated between science fiction and fantasy. He said if it could happen, it was sci fi. If it couldn't, it was fantasy. He considered most of his work to be fantasy.
But as science progresses, I can't help but wonder if one day, we might colonize Mars. We wouldn't do it if we found oil there. The cost of transporting it back to Earth would not be economically viable. Also, you couldn't build a pipeline between the two.
And if there was oil on Mars, we'd have to conclude that there was carbon-based life there at one time. That's cuz oil is nothing but dead dinosaurs. Today, I put a pterodactyl in my car. That's right.
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This title was probably inspired by the pope's announcement that he would baptize aliens. Lots of anti-Catholics are saying this is further evidence that the pope is nuts. Actually, it was a throwaway comment the pope made at Mass, probably designed to get a laugh rather than pound home a theological point.
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If there are people on Mars, I wonder if they know if they're on Mars. They probably don't call it Mars. Why would they name themselves after a god from a dead religion on another planet. Doesn't make sense. We should rename our planets.
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Alice Cooper has a song called Might as Well be on Mars and it is my favourite Earth thing that references Mars. I like it more than Mars bars or Tim Burton's movie Mars Attacks or even Weird Al Yankovic's Attack of the Radioactive Hamsters from a Planet near Mars.
The song is about a guy who is dealing with his a recent breakup with his girlfriend. Why did she break up with him? Probably because he looks like this:
Here are the lyrics to Might as Well be on Mars:
The city streets are wet with rain tonight
The taxi drivers swerve from lane to lane
A lonely guitar man playin' down the hall
Midnight blues comin' through the walls
I tried to call you on the telephone
I left it off the hook just to hear it ring
You told me you were better off alone
I never knew that tears could stain
I'm on the roof and I'm starin' at the stars
Lookin' down at all the cars
I can see you
In the window of your favorite corner bar
But to reach you is just too far
And I might as well be on Mars
The city seems so old and grey and beat
It closes in and makes me wanna suffocate
And you just live across the street
But that's a billion miles away
You've turned my world into a dark and lonely place
Like a planet lost in space
My light is fadin'
I'd cross the universe to be right where you are
But I'm right in your backyard
And I might as well be on Mars
It's actually a pretty decent song. I haven't heard it for a good 15 years. I was a huge Alice Cooper fan in high school so I think I will listen to it now and go for a stroll down memory lane.
K. drawing it up on youtube.
Ahh man I shouldn't have done that. Now I feel like I'm 17 again and I'm all sad because girlfriend dumped me and I'm wandering the streets of southwest Calgary, a Dr. Pepper slurpee in one hand, crappy walkman headphones in my ears. And it's raining a little and it's after midnight and now I'm walking down her street and I'm trying to convince myself that I was just walking that way anyway and her bedroom window is dark and this means she is probably asleep and please let her be sleeping alone.
But I am not 17. I am 41 and I am mad at Alice Cooper because in this song he is standing on a roof while being in his ex-girlfriend's backyard. That's creepy and it's also impossible.
Then again, so is life on Mars.
Right now, anyway.
By the power vested in me as head honcho of Rotating Pineapple, I appoint Alice Cooper as bishop of Mars.
There ya go, Coop. Thanks for helping me through my adolescence.
-
I have written before about Ray Bradbury and how he differentiated between science fiction and fantasy. He said if it could happen, it was sci fi. If it couldn't, it was fantasy. He considered most of his work to be fantasy.
But as science progresses, I can't help but wonder if one day, we might colonize Mars. We wouldn't do it if we found oil there. The cost of transporting it back to Earth would not be economically viable. Also, you couldn't build a pipeline between the two.
And if there was oil on Mars, we'd have to conclude that there was carbon-based life there at one time. That's cuz oil is nothing but dead dinosaurs. Today, I put a pterodactyl in my car. That's right.
-
This title was probably inspired by the pope's announcement that he would baptize aliens. Lots of anti-Catholics are saying this is further evidence that the pope is nuts. Actually, it was a throwaway comment the pope made at Mass, probably designed to get a laugh rather than pound home a theological point.
-
If there are people on Mars, I wonder if they know if they're on Mars. They probably don't call it Mars. Why would they name themselves after a god from a dead religion on another planet. Doesn't make sense. We should rename our planets.
-
Alice Cooper has a song called Might as Well be on Mars and it is my favourite Earth thing that references Mars. I like it more than Mars bars or Tim Burton's movie Mars Attacks or even Weird Al Yankovic's Attack of the Radioactive Hamsters from a Planet near Mars.
The song is about a guy who is dealing with his a recent breakup with his girlfriend. Why did she break up with him? Probably because he looks like this:
Here are the lyrics to Might as Well be on Mars:
The city streets are wet with rain tonight
The taxi drivers swerve from lane to lane
A lonely guitar man playin' down the hall
Midnight blues comin' through the walls
I tried to call you on the telephone
I left it off the hook just to hear it ring
You told me you were better off alone
I never knew that tears could stain
I'm on the roof and I'm starin' at the stars
Lookin' down at all the cars
I can see you
In the window of your favorite corner bar
But to reach you is just too far
And I might as well be on Mars
The city seems so old and grey and beat
It closes in and makes me wanna suffocate
And you just live across the street
But that's a billion miles away
You've turned my world into a dark and lonely place
Like a planet lost in space
My light is fadin'
I'd cross the universe to be right where you are
But I'm right in your backyard
And I might as well be on Mars
It's actually a pretty decent song. I haven't heard it for a good 15 years. I was a huge Alice Cooper fan in high school so I think I will listen to it now and go for a stroll down memory lane.
K. drawing it up on youtube.
Ahh man I shouldn't have done that. Now I feel like I'm 17 again and I'm all sad because girlfriend dumped me and I'm wandering the streets of southwest Calgary, a Dr. Pepper slurpee in one hand, crappy walkman headphones in my ears. And it's raining a little and it's after midnight and now I'm walking down her street and I'm trying to convince myself that I was just walking that way anyway and her bedroom window is dark and this means she is probably asleep and please let her be sleeping alone.
But I am not 17. I am 41 and I am mad at Alice Cooper because in this song he is standing on a roof while being in his ex-girlfriend's backyard. That's creepy and it's also impossible.
Then again, so is life on Mars.
Right now, anyway.
By the power vested in me as head honcho of Rotating Pineapple, I appoint Alice Cooper as bishop of Mars.
There ya go, Coop. Thanks for helping me through my adolescence.
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