May 18: Dalaks vs Borgs - Who Would Win?
Since I am not a nerd, I have no way of knowing that Dalaks are bad
guys in the Dr. Who universe while the Borgs are Star Trek villains. I
have no idea what a Dalak looks like. I know Borgs have turtle shells on
their foreheads. Let's google image a Dalak and see what we come up
with:
Okay, so it looks like a Dalak is something that can go wrong with your spleen. If Dr. Who has a spleen, he is probably susceptible to it. If Borgs have spleens, they can probably get dalaks too. So I guess if the Borgs were at war with dalaks, it would depend on how much grapefruit they ate.
Wait a second. I spelled it wrong. It's D-A-L-E-K. I'm going to keep everything I already wrote because it's freakin funny.
Okay, here's a picture of a bunch of daleks
Daleks look like gay lighthouses at a 1970s disco party. As such, I think the Borgs would win because no one is really afraid of lighthouses except maybe bats and vampires. I'm pretty sure the Borgs would have their own spaceships and they would be able to shoot lasers and the lasers would make the lighthouses blow up. Daleks look like R2D2 with genital warts.
Why do spaceships need laser beams, anyway? I mean... if I was designing a spaceship, the primary purpose of the ship would be to take human beings to the moon or Mars or one of the moons of Jupiter (like Io, the moon that hates consonants.) As such, I would endeavour to make the spaceship be as energy-efficient as possible. This is because if the spaceship runs out of gas between Earth and Mars, it can't very well stop at a filling station. It is totally screwed.
And this is why having laser beams on spaceships is stupid. Lasers require a lot of energy - especially the lasers that make other spaceships blow up when you hit them. And since space is so big and spaceships move so fast, chances are you're going to miss most of the time anyway (unless you use the Force.)
Hey wait a second, I'm wrong about Borgs too. All this time I was thinking a Borg was this...
That is not a Borg. That is a Klingon. I should know that but I don't so I am BAD!!! (Val agrees.)
This is a Borg:
Basically, a borg is like an evil intergalactic bumblebee that likes the colour green. Because of this, Green Lantern could probably beat every Borg that ever lived in 1.2 nanoseconds. I am told that Borgs infect people and reprogram them and make them do evil things like kill people or write songs like Miley Cyrus's Wrecking Ball.
Now let's do some research on the Daleks.
Wikipedia tells me that Daleks are robot-like thingees that have lost the ability to feel pity, compassion, or remorse (like the Bloc Quebecois.) Actually, most robots don't feel pity, compassion or remorse so this is nothing new.
So if the Borgs and Daleks got into a fight, I think the Borgs would win. And that is all I have to say about that.
Okay, so it looks like a Dalak is something that can go wrong with your spleen. If Dr. Who has a spleen, he is probably susceptible to it. If Borgs have spleens, they can probably get dalaks too. So I guess if the Borgs were at war with dalaks, it would depend on how much grapefruit they ate.
Wait a second. I spelled it wrong. It's D-A-L-E-K. I'm going to keep everything I already wrote because it's freakin funny.
Okay, here's a picture of a bunch of daleks
Daleks look like gay lighthouses at a 1970s disco party. As such, I think the Borgs would win because no one is really afraid of lighthouses except maybe bats and vampires. I'm pretty sure the Borgs would have their own spaceships and they would be able to shoot lasers and the lasers would make the lighthouses blow up. Daleks look like R2D2 with genital warts.
She told me she was clean
Why do spaceships need laser beams, anyway? I mean... if I was designing a spaceship, the primary purpose of the ship would be to take human beings to the moon or Mars or one of the moons of Jupiter (like Io, the moon that hates consonants.) As such, I would endeavour to make the spaceship be as energy-efficient as possible. This is because if the spaceship runs out of gas between Earth and Mars, it can't very well stop at a filling station. It is totally screwed.
And this is why having laser beams on spaceships is stupid. Lasers require a lot of energy - especially the lasers that make other spaceships blow up when you hit them. And since space is so big and spaceships move so fast, chances are you're going to miss most of the time anyway (unless you use the Force.)
Hey wait a second, I'm wrong about Borgs too. All this time I was thinking a Borg was this...
That is not a Borg. That is a Klingon. I should know that but I don't so I am BAD!!! (Val agrees.)
This is a Borg:
Basically, a borg is like an evil intergalactic bumblebee that likes the colour green. Because of this, Green Lantern could probably beat every Borg that ever lived in 1.2 nanoseconds. I am told that Borgs infect people and reprogram them and make them do evil things like kill people or write songs like Miley Cyrus's Wrecking Ball.
I am NOT a Disney princess anymore, okay?
Now let's do some research on the Daleks.
Wikipedia tells me that Daleks are robot-like thingees that have lost the ability to feel pity, compassion, or remorse (like the Bloc Quebecois.) Actually, most robots don't feel pity, compassion or remorse so this is nothing new.
Hello Steven. I see that you just cut both your feet off. I will do nothing about this.
So if the Borgs and Daleks got into a fight, I think the Borgs would win. And that is all I have to say about that.
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