May 4: If God gave me a 'slay one person free' card

I would slay this guy right here:




Who is that? That's Brad Richards, who used to play for the Tampa Bay Lightning. He was a member of the Lightning in 2004 when his team beat the Calgary Flames in the Stanley Cup Finals. Brad Richards was instrumental in beating the Flames and bringing the Cup to Florida, which is a state that does not have ice, snow, or winter.

Calgary has all those things. In droves.

I was devastated, man. I was sitting in the Atlantic, a pub in Alexandria, with my friend, Stephanie, and it was game 7 of the Finals and the Lightning won that game 2-1. I was pissed. I was sad. I cried. Seriously, the Lightning should have said: "You know what? We should just let Calgary win the Cup because no one in Florida cares about hockey anyway."

Actually, I could use the slay anyone card on Martin St-Louis, Vincent Lecavalier or Nikola Khabibulin, who were all instrumental in helping the Bolts get their mitts on the Holy Grail.

But since Richards led the Bolts in playoff scoring that year, I single him out for death. He would die just after the 2003 season and then I would bring him back to life after the 2004 Stanley Cup Finals.

Yanno... because I'm too nice a guy to wish anyone dead.

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