Feb. 18: Off-colour tales from the Quirky Carrot
The Quirky Carrot has yummy grape soda.
I know this because I have bought five bottles of it over the past three months. The grape soda is made with real cane sugar, not high-glucose corn syrup that gives people diabetes.
The grape soda is usually presented to me by Viv, who is the barista at the Quirky Carrot. Viv is six feet tall and she has long black hair and she is a health nut. Once I saw her eat homemade cream of cauliflour soup. She used to drive a red car but now she has a white one. She works with Youth for Christ.
I will go into the Quirky Carrot and say "Hi Viv, I would like a grape soda" and then Viv will give me one and I will pay for it and then I will drink it and then I will be a wee bit unhealthier. Grape soda is probably the unhealthiest thing that is served at the Quirky Carrot.
The Quirky Carrot is probably the healthiest restaurant in the county. Once I ate a salad that had a bunch of tiny beige round things in it. The beige round things tasted a bit like vinegar. There were also green leafy things in the salad. When I finished eating it, I was a wee bit healthier.
You will not find white bread at the Quirky Carrot. White bread is bad. And you will never find buffalo wings on the menu. The Quirky Carrot serves soups like vegetable lentil medley or ginger coconut ginger. The sandwiches are on nutty whole wheat and they usually have lots of arugula and red peppers that are burned a little bit. You probably don't fart a lot after eating at the Quirky Carrot.
Ronna once ate there. Ronna makes amazing cakes. I don't think her cakes would be offered for sale at the Quirky Carrot. Nothing personal though. Ronna is neat.
Lots of people who work at the Quirky Carrot are evangelical Christians. I know that at least one employee is an agnostic/atheist critic of organized religion, but everyone seems to get along just fine.
I do not eat at the Quirky Carrot very often. There are two reasons for this:
1. I have a one-year-old son. Therefore, I have no money.
2. I am not used to eating healthy.
I eat chicken wings and I drink Dr. Pepper. I will die when I am 48. Heart attack.
I am typing this from my apartment. I can see the Quirky Carrot sign from my window. Someone is standing on the back stoop of the Quirky Carrot. It is not Viv. It is someone else.
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I am supposed to tell off-colour tales from the Quirky Carrot. I cannot do that because I know people there. And I want the restaurant to succeed.
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Here is a picture of someone eating at the Quirky Carrot:
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If I had a million dollars, I would eat at the Quirky Carrot everyday (except Thursdays when I would go to Kelsey's for wings and Dr. Pepper.) I would FORCE myself to be a healthy eater and my armpits would start to smell like vinegar and soy sauce.
And now and then, I would drink a grape pop and it would make me a wee bit unhealthier.
I know this because I have bought five bottles of it over the past three months. The grape soda is made with real cane sugar, not high-glucose corn syrup that gives people diabetes.
The grape soda is usually presented to me by Viv, who is the barista at the Quirky Carrot. Viv is six feet tall and she has long black hair and she is a health nut. Once I saw her eat homemade cream of cauliflour soup. She used to drive a red car but now she has a white one. She works with Youth for Christ.
I will go into the Quirky Carrot and say "Hi Viv, I would like a grape soda" and then Viv will give me one and I will pay for it and then I will drink it and then I will be a wee bit unhealthier. Grape soda is probably the unhealthiest thing that is served at the Quirky Carrot.
The Quirky Carrot is probably the healthiest restaurant in the county. Once I ate a salad that had a bunch of tiny beige round things in it. The beige round things tasted a bit like vinegar. There were also green leafy things in the salad. When I finished eating it, I was a wee bit healthier.
You will not find white bread at the Quirky Carrot. White bread is bad. And you will never find buffalo wings on the menu. The Quirky Carrot serves soups like vegetable lentil medley or ginger coconut ginger. The sandwiches are on nutty whole wheat and they usually have lots of arugula and red peppers that are burned a little bit. You probably don't fart a lot after eating at the Quirky Carrot.
Ronna once ate there. Ronna makes amazing cakes. I don't think her cakes would be offered for sale at the Quirky Carrot. Nothing personal though. Ronna is neat.
Lots of people who work at the Quirky Carrot are evangelical Christians. I know that at least one employee is an agnostic/atheist critic of organized religion, but everyone seems to get along just fine.
I do not eat at the Quirky Carrot very often. There are two reasons for this:
1. I have a one-year-old son. Therefore, I have no money.
2. I am not used to eating healthy.
I eat chicken wings and I drink Dr. Pepper. I will die when I am 48. Heart attack.
I am typing this from my apartment. I can see the Quirky Carrot sign from my window. Someone is standing on the back stoop of the Quirky Carrot. It is not Viv. It is someone else.
-
I am supposed to tell off-colour tales from the Quirky Carrot. I cannot do that because I know people there. And I want the restaurant to succeed.
-
Here is a picture of someone eating at the Quirky Carrot:
-
If I had a million dollars, I would eat at the Quirky Carrot everyday (except Thursdays when I would go to Kelsey's for wings and Dr. Pepper.) I would FORCE myself to be a healthy eater and my armpits would start to smell like vinegar and soy sauce.
And now and then, I would drink a grape pop and it would make me a wee bit unhealthier.
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