Feb. 16: Sharon, Lois & Bram
Sharon, Lois & Bram did a
lot of drugs in the 70s. My guess is they did copious amounts of
marijuana, LSD, alcohol and heroin. It screwed their brains up so much
that they actually thought it was a good idea to sing the children’s
song, skinnamarink, that uses these lyrics:
Skinna-a-ma-rinky-dinky-dink skinnamarinky doo.
Now why would you write a children’s song with the word “dinky” in it? Don’t these numbskulls know that the only thing it’s going to do is give kids the giggles. It sure gave me the giggles when I was asked to sing it in music class at St. Gerard’s Elementary School. And we got in such trouble from the teacher too. Yep, all the detention I served in Grade 5 is the fault of Sharon, Lois & Bram.
-
I have it on good authority that Bram and Raffi hate each other – both of them wanting to claim the title of Canada’s best-loved bearded kids’ musician. Bram doesn’t even think Raffi should qualify, stating that the Baby Beluga singer was born in Egypt and is, therefore, not a real Canadian. Raffi retaliated by wearing a BRAM SUCKS T-shirt during his famous 1987 23-day tour of Prince Edward Island.
Then Mr. Dressup grew a beard and the whole feud died for a while.
-
In 1998, while double booked to appear on the eponymous Canadian variety show, Rita and Friends, Raffi and Bram got into such a loud argument that the RCMP had to intervene. Raffi had threatened to kill Bram’s elephant after Bram claimed that Raffi had been lying to his audience for years. “Beans do not wear jeans,” Bram said, spitting out blood and a few teeth. “Not at the corner grocery store. Not anywhere.”
The two men probably would have killed each other had Mister Rogers not intervened. He hit Raffi with the Land of Make Believe trolley and then wrapped one of his sweaters around Bram’s neck. “CALM THE %^ DOWN!” Mister Rogers had screamed. Bram mumbled something about how the only Fred he listens to is Fred Penner.
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Sharon, Lois & Bram formed in Toronto in 1978. Lois, the oldest of the trio, was 42. This is good news for middle aged people who think they’re too old to start a new adventure.
-
I actually had a dream about Bram once. I dreamed that he took me to see the Chevy Chase movie, European Vacation. The movie theatre was very small – so small that it could only accommodate one two-person sofa. Bram and I sat on it and started watching the movie. As we watched, Bram kept pulling his whiskers out. “What are you doing?” I asked. “I’m giving my beard to Chevy.”
As the movie progressed, Chevy got hairier and hairier. At the end, he looked like one of the guys from ZZ Top.
I have no idea what that dream means. I hope it meant that I should not eat Count Chocula before going to bed.
-
Sharon, Lois & Bram were, and are, Canadian icons. They are from a simpler era when little kids actually wanted to be little kids.
And may I say to little kids everywhere that there is no shame in enjoying Sharon, Lois & Bram or Mister Rogers.
Six-year-olds who groove to Family Guy and play Grand Theft Auto don’t get my respect.
There is value in innocence.
-
If you want to be a kids’ act today, you’d better have lots of colours and a gimmick. Dress up as clowns like the Doodlebops do. Or be from Australia like the Wiggles.
-
Confession: I actually watched Sharon, Lois & Bram’s Elephant Show fairly regularly when I was a teenager. I was too old to be entertained by it and I wasn`t mean enough to watch it just to mock it. I think I watched it because I was charmed by it, because its innocent straightforward tone was refreshing.
I guess I just felt that shows like that should be supported.
-
Sharon, Lois & Bram is no more. Lois, the oldest of the group, lost her husband a number of years ago and decided that life on the road was too hectic. Who can blame her?
Now the group performs as Sharon, Bram & Friends. They came to a city near me a few years ago and I thought about using my press credentials to get backstage to talk to them and tell them I appreciated what they did for Canadian children’s entertainment.
And now this essay has morphed into something serious so I should probably point out that the beginning of this piece is pure fiction.
The tone should have told you that, but still…
-
Sharon, Lois & Bram had to borrow $20,000 from family and friends in order to record their debut album in 1978. It quickly became a Canadian classic and the trio was well on its way to kiddie superstardom.
Head and shoulders, baby, one two three
Skinna-a-ma-rinky-dinky-dink skinnamarinky doo.
Now why would you write a children’s song with the word “dinky” in it? Don’t these numbskulls know that the only thing it’s going to do is give kids the giggles. It sure gave me the giggles when I was asked to sing it in music class at St. Gerard’s Elementary School. And we got in such trouble from the teacher too. Yep, all the detention I served in Grade 5 is the fault of Sharon, Lois & Bram.
-
I have it on good authority that Bram and Raffi hate each other – both of them wanting to claim the title of Canada’s best-loved bearded kids’ musician. Bram doesn’t even think Raffi should qualify, stating that the Baby Beluga singer was born in Egypt and is, therefore, not a real Canadian. Raffi retaliated by wearing a BRAM SUCKS T-shirt during his famous 1987 23-day tour of Prince Edward Island.
Then Mr. Dressup grew a beard and the whole feud died for a while.
-
In 1998, while double booked to appear on the eponymous Canadian variety show, Rita and Friends, Raffi and Bram got into such a loud argument that the RCMP had to intervene. Raffi had threatened to kill Bram’s elephant after Bram claimed that Raffi had been lying to his audience for years. “Beans do not wear jeans,” Bram said, spitting out blood and a few teeth. “Not at the corner grocery store. Not anywhere.”
The two men probably would have killed each other had Mister Rogers not intervened. He hit Raffi with the Land of Make Believe trolley and then wrapped one of his sweaters around Bram’s neck. “CALM THE %^ DOWN!” Mister Rogers had screamed. Bram mumbled something about how the only Fred he listens to is Fred Penner.
-
Sharon, Lois & Bram formed in Toronto in 1978. Lois, the oldest of the trio, was 42. This is good news for middle aged people who think they’re too old to start a new adventure.
-
I actually had a dream about Bram once. I dreamed that he took me to see the Chevy Chase movie, European Vacation. The movie theatre was very small – so small that it could only accommodate one two-person sofa. Bram and I sat on it and started watching the movie. As we watched, Bram kept pulling his whiskers out. “What are you doing?” I asked. “I’m giving my beard to Chevy.”
As the movie progressed, Chevy got hairier and hairier. At the end, he looked like one of the guys from ZZ Top.
I have no idea what that dream means. I hope it meant that I should not eat Count Chocula before going to bed.
-
Sharon, Lois & Bram were, and are, Canadian icons. They are from a simpler era when little kids actually wanted to be little kids.
And may I say to little kids everywhere that there is no shame in enjoying Sharon, Lois & Bram or Mister Rogers.
Six-year-olds who groove to Family Guy and play Grand Theft Auto don’t get my respect.
There is value in innocence.
-
If you want to be a kids’ act today, you’d better have lots of colours and a gimmick. Dress up as clowns like the Doodlebops do. Or be from Australia like the Wiggles.
-
Confession: I actually watched Sharon, Lois & Bram’s Elephant Show fairly regularly when I was a teenager. I was too old to be entertained by it and I wasn`t mean enough to watch it just to mock it. I think I watched it because I was charmed by it, because its innocent straightforward tone was refreshing.
I guess I just felt that shows like that should be supported.
-
Sharon, Lois & Bram is no more. Lois, the oldest of the group, lost her husband a number of years ago and decided that life on the road was too hectic. Who can blame her?
Now the group performs as Sharon, Bram & Friends. They came to a city near me a few years ago and I thought about using my press credentials to get backstage to talk to them and tell them I appreciated what they did for Canadian children’s entertainment.
And now this essay has morphed into something serious so I should probably point out that the beginning of this piece is pure fiction.
The tone should have told you that, but still…
-
Sharon, Lois & Bram had to borrow $20,000 from family and friends in order to record their debut album in 1978. It quickly became a Canadian classic and the trio was well on its way to kiddie superstardom.
Head and shoulders, baby, one two three
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