Aug. 4: Tamborine
My best friend, Jason, used to
have a band called ZBUBUS. I think they played funk-inspired rock or
rock-inspired funk. Jason played guitar and sang. His friend, Dean,
played base and Larry played drums. The groupies played tambourines.
See, Jason was always meeting girls and as a way of keeping in contact with them, he'd ask if they wanted to play tambourine at his next gig. Once he said he had about eight tambourine players onstage with him. This was probably not a good move.
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I actually think tambourines are pretty boring instruments. I don't think the Berklee College of Music would accept a student who wanted to specialize in the tambourine. Although tambourines are probably essential components to folk music (or any music festival where long-haired hippies gather to smoke dope and talk about how great the 60s were) it is a relatively easy instrument to play. No one has to practice playing the tambourine just like no one has to practice playing the kazoo. When was the last time you heard someone say: "Gee, I'd love to go to the baseball game with you but I have a kazoo lesson?"
It will take you five seconds to master.
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I went to a Prince concert once and Prince was selling tambourines with his symbol on them. The tambourines looked like this:
They cost about $50 and that is the reason I did not buy one. I like Prince but I don't love him so much that I'm willing to part with half a C-note so I can get a mass-produced percussion instrument that I'll never use.
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I should not diss tambourines too much because they are close relatives of the bodhran, which is a sort of Irish drum. I guess a bodhran looks like a wooden tambourine without the metal noisy things on the sides (technical note: the metal noisy things are called "zils.") You play the bodhran by beating it with a stick. Playing the bodhran takes real skill. Playing the tambourine does not.
And that is why I hate Josie and the Pussycats.
Almost everything in the Archie universe is stupid but Josie and the Pussycats is beyond stupid. Here we have a trio consisting of a guitar player/singer (Josie), drummer (Melody) and TAMBOURINE PLAYER (Valerie.) It's a good thing that comic books are strictly visual mediums because I'm not sure I'd be all that keen on hearing a guitar-drums-tambourine trio. Make the tambourieist a base player and maybe we'll have something to talk about.
And Bob Dylan's song Mr. Tambourine Man is stupid. Here is the first line of his song:
Hey Mr. Tambourine Man play a song for me...
Okay. I have a problem. Full stop. I have a problem. I don't care how deep the lyrics may be and that it could be about a junkie calling to his dealer or an artist calling to his muse or some fans calling to their idol. I don't care because the metaphor doesn't work.
You can't play a song on a tambourine. You just can't. You can keep a beat but you can't play a song. Seriously, if I tell you I'm going to play Sweet Child O Mine on my tambourine, it's not like you're going to listen for a few seconds and then say "Oh come on, you're playing O Come All Ye Faithful."
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Prince sings a song called Tambourine. It is on his 1985 album Around the World in a Day. It is my favourite song that has the word "tambourine" in it. I think it's a dirty song though. It's probably about sex. Prince is bad. I am too because I think I used base when I meant bass. Or maybe I didn't. Who knows?
Everybody go get stoned... and write songs about tambourines
See, Jason was always meeting girls and as a way of keeping in contact with them, he'd ask if they wanted to play tambourine at his next gig. Once he said he had about eight tambourine players onstage with him. This was probably not a good move.
-
I actually think tambourines are pretty boring instruments. I don't think the Berklee College of Music would accept a student who wanted to specialize in the tambourine. Although tambourines are probably essential components to folk music (or any music festival where long-haired hippies gather to smoke dope and talk about how great the 60s were) it is a relatively easy instrument to play. No one has to practice playing the tambourine just like no one has to practice playing the kazoo. When was the last time you heard someone say: "Gee, I'd love to go to the baseball game with you but I have a kazoo lesson?"
It will take you five seconds to master.-
I went to a Prince concert once and Prince was selling tambourines with his symbol on them. The tambourines looked like this:
They cost about $50 and that is the reason I did not buy one. I like Prince but I don't love him so much that I'm willing to part with half a C-note so I can get a mass-produced percussion instrument that I'll never use.
-
I should not diss tambourines too much because they are close relatives of the bodhran, which is a sort of Irish drum. I guess a bodhran looks like a wooden tambourine without the metal noisy things on the sides (technical note: the metal noisy things are called "zils.") You play the bodhran by beating it with a stick. Playing the bodhran takes real skill. Playing the tambourine does not.
And that is why I hate Josie and the Pussycats.
Almost everything in the Archie universe is stupid but Josie and the Pussycats is beyond stupid. Here we have a trio consisting of a guitar player/singer (Josie), drummer (Melody) and TAMBOURINE PLAYER (Valerie.) It's a good thing that comic books are strictly visual mediums because I'm not sure I'd be all that keen on hearing a guitar-drums-tambourine trio. Make the tambourieist a base player and maybe we'll have something to talk about.
And Bob Dylan's song Mr. Tambourine Man is stupid. Here is the first line of his song:
Hey Mr. Tambourine Man play a song for me...
Okay. I have a problem. Full stop. I have a problem. I don't care how deep the lyrics may be and that it could be about a junkie calling to his dealer or an artist calling to his muse or some fans calling to their idol. I don't care because the metaphor doesn't work.
You can't play a song on a tambourine. You just can't. You can keep a beat but you can't play a song. Seriously, if I tell you I'm going to play Sweet Child O Mine on my tambourine, it's not like you're going to listen for a few seconds and then say "Oh come on, you're playing O Come All Ye Faithful."
-
Prince sings a song called Tambourine. It is on his 1985 album Around the World in a Day. It is my favourite song that has the word "tambourine" in it. I think it's a dirty song though. It's probably about sex. Prince is bad. I am too because I think I used base when I meant bass. Or maybe I didn't. Who knows?
Everybody go get stoned... and write songs about tambourines
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