Aug. 10: Head

I have a head. My head has eyes, a nose, two ears, and a mouth. It also has hair. One of my ears has an earring in it. When I was in high school, it had acne. I have never seen the back of my head.

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I went to college with a guy whose last name was Head. His last name probably still is Head. I didn't talk to him much. He had red hair and lots of freckles (on his head - the head of Head.) Once I was in the student commons and I saw the young Mr. Head eating Chinese food. He was using chopsticks to put the Chinese food in his mouth.

Which was on his head.

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This is a picture of Murray Head:


The head of Murray Head.The head of Murray Head.

Murray Head is famous for a song called One Night in Bangkok, which comes from the 1985 musical Chess, which was partially written by the guys from ABBA (this is a bad thing.)*

One Night in Bangkok is a bad song because I performed it in Grade 7 for the school's lip sync competition and the stupid idiot running the music turned the volume all the way down so I couldn't hear a thing. I was booed off the stage and I was devastated and people didn't let me forget it until I graduated from high school.

Actually, Murray Head didn't so much sing One Night in Bangkok as he did speak it. It's one of those spoken word songs, like most of Robbie Robertson's Somewhere Down the Crazy River and pretty much everything John Cougar Mellencamp has ever done.

C'mon now... how much of Jack and Diane is comprised of, y'know, actual SINGING?C'mon now... how much of Jack and Diane is comprised of, y'know, actual SINGING?

Murray Head and John Cougar Mellencamp both sing.

How do they sing?

With their mouths.

Where is the mouth located?

On the head.

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Here is a picture of Mr. Strong:



Mr. Strong was one of the Mr. Men, which were a series of children's books created by the late British writer, Roger Hargreaves.

As you can see, Mr. Strong is basically a giant head with feet. His arms are where his ears should be. At a very early age, I wondered about the digestive tracts of the poor Mr. Men characters. Mr. Strong ate eggs. He said eggs were the source of his amazing strength. They were probably also the source of some really toxic farts.

Let's load up on the sulfurLet's load up on the sulfur

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In junior high, I was told that a person could either be a head or a prep. You could not be both. I was also told that heads and preps hate each other and would always be at war, like Iran and Iraq.

The difference between heads and preps? Preps liked Duran Duran and heads liked Twisted Sister.

"But what would you call someone who liked Duran Duran and Twisted Sister?"

"That would never happen."

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This is a filthy title.

No no. Not going there.

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In high school, my friend had a whole lot of hair. Then one day he shaved it off. He said he wanted to be a skinhead (not a racist though.)

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Lately, I have taken to wearing hats. I am not losing my hair; it is just getting more difficult to control.

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I am tired of writing about heads.

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* ABBA is bad because everyone thinks they're the best band to ever come out of Sweden. They are wrong. Roxette is. The Look is a much better song than Dancing Queen. Fact!

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