Dec. 24: Uncle B-Man vs Ezra

Ezra: Hey Uncle B?

BMan: What's up, little buddy?

Ezra: Can I ask you a question?

Bman: Sure, little buddy.

Ezra: Am I cuter than you? 

Bman: No, sorry.

Ezra: Oh.

-

Bman: Hey, dad?

Shteevie: Yes?

Bman: Am I cuter than Ezra?

Shteevie: What would make you ask me that?

Bman: Well, when I was a baby, you used to tell me I was the cutest kid in the world.

Shteevie: Very true.

Bman: Then doesn't it stand to reason that I would be cuter than Ezra?

Shteevie: Son, you have to understand that beauty is a purely subjective thing. All parents think their kids are the cutest kids in the world. 

Bman: Does that mean that Kelsey thinks Ezra is cuter than me?

Shteevie: Probably.

Bman: Oh.

-

Ezra: I sure am having fun at the Williamstown Fair with you, Uncle Bryson.

Bman: So am I.

Ezra: That magician was amazing.

Bman: Sure was.

Ezra: Hey, what's that? Over by the agriculture booth?

Bman: It's the Cute-O-Meter. It analyzes two people side by side and uses a whole bunch of scientific and artistic criteria to determine who is cuter.

Ezra: Is it 100 per cent accurate?

Bman: Absolutely. That's what it said in The Glengarry Times and The Glengarry Times never lies.

Ezra: Can we try it with each other?

Bman: Sure.

Ezra: Umm... Uncle Bry?

Bman: Yes?

Ezra: I just want you to know that no matter who it picks as cuter, I really hope we'll still be close to each other.

Bman: Absolutely, little buddy.

TEN MINUTES LATER!!!

Ezra: Did you get the results?

Bman: They're being spat out right now.

Ezra: What does it say?

Bman: Hmmm, this is strange.

Ezra: What?

Bman: It says it's dead even. We're equally cute.

Ezra: What is the footnote?

Bman: It says that together, we make up the two cutest people in all of history?

Ezra: Who's number one...

Bman: Let's see. Very strange, it appears to be... 

Bman and Ezra together: KELSEY!!!!


 

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