Dec. 13: Williamstown wit

 It seems fitting that this be my title since I am writing this from Williamstown. I was in Williamstown twice today. Once for the annual Santa Claus Parade and then again for the hockey game between the Glengarry Brigade and the Embrun Panthers, which Glengarry is winning 1-0.

And now, just as I typed return on the above paragraph, Embrun evened the score. How is that for wit?

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Here is the definition of wit: clever, humorous intelligence, the ability to make sharp, funny remarks, or the person who possesses it 

I think I am a witty person. I wouldn't be very good at my jobs - journalist, writer, magician, note-a-day guy - if I was not. So since the game is now in intermission, I will eavesdrop on what people at the game are saying and give witty replies.

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Someone at the snack stand: I want a hot dog. 

Witty reply: Well, you are what you eat, weiner.

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Someone at the entrance: How much are 50/50 tickets?

Witty reply: One dollar each but you're the only person who's buying one. Stick around and you'll win 50 cents.

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Someone else at the snack stand: Tacos. That sounds good.

Witty reply: They don't sound good in the baffoom the next morning.

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Someone in a khaki overcoat: *Bellowing laughter.* He got cast. It was green too.

Witty reply: Man, I hope that doesn't have anything to do with the tacos.

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Coach of the visiting team: Alright boys, let's get out there.

Witty reply: Probably wise since the second period is about to start.

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Some kid in the stands: Is that the Panthers' goalie?

Witty reply: Well he's wearing hockey gear, is on ice skates, is holding a goalie stick, has on goalie pads and an Embrun Panthers sweater. My guess is he's either the Panthers goaltender or it's the District Attorney.

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And for no reason at all, I choose an old picture of my kid trying to get away from Santa Claus. The picture, taken about 10 years ago, was snapped in Williamstown.


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