Dec. 26: Shteevie makes a turkey

 I really did make a turkey. For the first time ever, I made a turkey.

I'm so grateful that at the place where I work, they give everyone $100 every year to make a Christmas meal. So I took that C-note right to Your Independent Grocer and I got myself a turkey. It was one of those remade thingees that had already been basted in bourbon and butter. The label said that I could put the frozen turkey in a roasting pan and heat it at 350 degrees. The label was wrong.

I got up at 8 in the morning to put the turkey in the oven. That's because Christmas dinner was supposed to take place around 1 that afternoon. Mr. Turkey decided he wanted to take longer to cook. The turkey wasn't ready until well after 3.

Much of this intel was shared with me by the mom of Ash, who knows more about cooking turkeys than I do (most people do.) I also got some advice from my mom and my brother via Zoom, but this wasn't about making the turkey. This was about making gravy out of the turkey drippings and making sauce for the Christmas pudding. Everything turned out well because I took the advice about people who are better in the kitchen than I am.

Kel made stuffing and Ash made casseroles and salad and the mom of Ash made mashed potatoes and B-Man played in the water. 

In the future, I will thaw the turkey before I put it in the oven. I don't care what the label says. 

-

The turkey was fine but I could taste the bourbon buried in it. I didn't care for it but I still ate. Next year, I won't choose a bourbon-soaked turkey. I think I prefer sober birds.

Well, Christmas is over. Soon it will be NewYear's and then it will be my birthday and then there will be three months of cold weather to complain about. Brrrr. 



I want it noted that the turkey was cooked in a brand new roasting pan that I bought at Wal-Mart for $15. I was pleasantly surprised. I thought a good roasting pan would cost $100. Actually, that's probably true. The Wal-Mart roasting pan will probably fall apart in the spring when I use it to try to make a ham.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sept. 13: You don't know what you gave up

Image
 Dear Mr. Man You know, I don't hate you. If I saw you on the street, I wouldn't yell at you or cuss you out, but I don't think I'd shake your hand. But I do pity you, man. You don't know what you gave up. She's going to be a funeral director, did you know that? Yeah, she's going to be a mover and shaker, hitting the big time. She'll have a good job and she'll never be out of work because she's in an industry that will never die (you should pardon the pun.)  Sure, she had her challenges growing up, but what girl doesn't. Things made her cry. Sometimes, I'm sad to say, I was one of those things. But all I can say is the good times outweigh the bad. I hope she agrees with that. You see, Mr. Man, I have a whole lot of great memories with her. This one time, I tried to take her down to Cleveland so we could see a Major League Baseball game live. But we couldn't get into the States so instead, we went to Niagara Falls and we had a grand ol
Read more

Dec.19: The day Steve dropped my Phoenix

 The day Steve dropped my Phoenix I was sleeping He left the papers there outside my door. I laughed when I read the part about the Roughriders, they didn't make the playoffs after all By the time I make my breakfast he'll be working Trying hard to bring the news to us He just don't understand the world has moved on. it's off the wall that's all By the time I get to Jack's Pub he'll be writing a council brief or maybe 20 Q's. we might cry to think he's doing this for nothing but he does it 'cause it's all he knows how to do - apologies to Glen Campbell
Read more

Dec. 10: Brothers over 80

Image
The Irishman is surely the most tragic movie of Martin Scorsese's career. It follows the same trajectory as his other beloved films Goodfellas, Casino, and Wolf of Wall Street. In all of those movies, a criminal's life comes crashing down. In Goodfellas, Ray Liotta's Henry Hill aspires to be a gangster, only to have to betray his mob brothers in the end to avoid a lengthy prison sentence. In Casino, a wannabe enforcer is beaten to death with a baseball bat while his colleague loses his family and winds up a lonely man. In Wolf of Wall Street, a dishonest wall street stockbroker loses his trophy wife and winds up having to betray the very people he helped set up so he can stay out of jail. But in all of the above tales, everyone gets a slice of the good life, at least for a little while. They do copious amounts of drugs, have sex with all kinds of women, and earn a whole lot of money in the process. In the end, they have nothing, but at least there's a mountain in a life
Read more