Dec. 18: A festivus for the rest of us

 I have a hunch that this is a Seinfeld inspired title.

I hate to admit this but I have never seen one episode of Seinfeld. I've seen bits and pieces of them but I've never watched an entire episode from start to finish. I don't like any of the characters but perhaps that's kind of the point.

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Probably Festivus has something to do with a holiday festival for people who don't have any religious tradition. Google tells me it's a parody holiday in much the same way that the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is a parody religion. I also understand that Festivus falls on December 23 of each year and that it is supposed to be an antidote to the commercialism of Christmas.

Well, we already have an antidote to the commercialism of Christmas - it is the Charlie Brown Christmas Special. Perhaps I will watch it on December 23 and make all the gods happy.

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Since Christmas is now officially one week away, it seems like an opportune time for me to, once again, wax on about how truly amazing that Christmas special is. I am on record as saying that it is the most important 30 minutes in the history of television and I think I will stand by that today. 

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I've done enough research to know that the Festivus celebration involves setting up an aluminum pole and then airing grievances and then talking about Festivus miracles, all of which are not miracles but can be easily explained (ie. I put some dirty dishes in a steel box, I pushed a button, and they were clean 30 minutes later.) The sad thing is that, as I approach 50, I lack the humour to enjoy Festivus. I know I would be a grumpy gus if I were whisked away to such a celebration. I'll let my real joy come out a couple days later, perhaps with a little help from Charlie Brown and the rest of the Peanuts gang.



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