Dec. 11: Toys no one wants

 Here is a list of toys I don't think anyone wants. There could be exceptions. The world is a strange place and there are lots of deviants in it. I make no guarantees to the accuracy of this list. The list is not exhaustive. It is a partial list only. Here we go:

TOYS NO ONE WANTS

- My first proctology set.

- AIDS virus in a box.

- Vancouver Canucks season tickets.

- Roy the Rat salad bar play station.

- Pac Man for Atari 2600 (trust me when I tell you no one wanted that.)

- Donna Wright action figure.*

- Electronic Detective. **

- Let's visit the nursing home scratch n sniff book (especially the section dealing with taco night.)

- Counting to 12 with the Saskatchewan Roughriders. ***

-

I can tell you a toy everyone would want:

A FART GUN.

That's a gun that makes people fart when you shoot them with it. There's a volume setting as well.**** I'm pretty sure that everyone would want one and that it would take care of everyone's entertainment needs for the rest of their life.

* Donna Wright taught me math in grade 7. I don't think anyone would want an action figure of her, even if she could explain how rounding works by pulling the string on her back.

** Except me. Also, no one wants to play it with me.

*** This joke would be funny in 2009. I'm sure at least one of my readers gets the reference.

**** I keep thinking this would be a great premise for a kids' book. Teachers would love me and hate me at the same time.



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