Sept. 14: I finally found out where socks go missing

 I guess this is a universal thing. No matter how hard we try, we just can't keep our socks together. Probably the only way to stop this is to be extremely anal about it. To wit:

1. Have a dedicated sock drawer where all socks are kept together and paired off.

2. In your laundry room, have a mesh bag that is dedicated only to socks.

3. Whenever you take off a pair of socks, put them in the mesh bag.

4. When the mesh bag is full, put the mesh bag (full of socks) in washing machine.

5. Wash socks.

6. Remove wet sock bag from washing machine.

7. Put bag in dryer.

8. Dry socks.

Voila!!!

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I used to be a member of Food Cardigan, which is a company that sends you a different pair of funky socks every month. I am wearing a pair of those socks right now. They are purple socks and they have a bubble motif. The socks are about seven years old. The fabric where my toes go has worn thin. I will likely throw the socks away soon. 

Foot Cardigan has sent me socks with the following motifs:

- Accordion

- Desert

- Popcorn

- Fried eggs

- Eight-balls

- Pastel argyle

- Bubble gum

- Plaid

- Lobster

- Cartoons

- Pineapple

- Pecock

- Ace of Spades

And so on...

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One of the best things you can do to ensure your socks go missing is to have an 11-year-old son named B-Man. That is because B-Man has a unique sock behaviour. Here is what he does:

1. Take socks off.

2. Put one sock in the middle of the floor where it can plainly be seen.

3. Take the other sock and hide it in a strange location so that it won't be found for at least three years (some suggestions: bottom of the deep freeze, top shelf of the linen closet, in a box of creamed corn.)

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As luck would have it, I attended two craft sales recently where socks were being sold. These were handmade socks, crafted out of alpaca wool or expensive thread, not the sort of mass produced stuff you get at Giant Tiger.

I was told that the socks, though expensive, are built to last and are both durable and warm. I have no doubt of this. So one way to ensure your socks stay in one place is to spend a lot of money on them. Treat them like an investment, because you only get one pair of feet.