Nov. 14: Some random thoughts
If you take a pad of paper and you move it around, is it still stationary?
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When I look at pictures of movie starlets from the 1950s, I immediately notice how hairless their armpits are. It's like there's not even a hint of stubble. This is sexy. I am a misogynist I guess because I don't like it when girls have armpit hair.
I only met one girl who was unapologetic about having hairy armpits. Her name was Frederika and I met her in Dublin. I think she was an artist. That is probably fitting.
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I think I hate Ricky Jay.
Here is why I hate Ricky Jay: I like to think that there are three things I'm reasonably good at - acting, writing, and magic. Ricky Jay is the only person I know who could kick my ass at all three.
C'mon Shteevie, I'll kick your ass
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No one in my immediate family suffers from the number one fear - which is the fear of public speaking. Not only do we not fear it, all of us thrive on it.
I like to think this makes us unique.
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My son likes to pretend I'm a surfboard. Preferably when I'm sleeping.
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When I do magic shows, I tell my audience that the average person buys three decks of cards in their lives. The average card magician, by contrast, buys 157 decks every year.
I made those statistics up.
I tell the audience that too.
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Sometimes, when I am pitching my magical services, a prospect says he's not inclined to hire a magician again. "We hired one a few years ago and it didn't work out."
No ever sees a bad movie and then refuses to return to the cinema. No one ever hears a lousy band and then swears off music for life. No one ever contracts food poisoning and never eats again.
I think that most people don't like magicians because they find something inherently dishonest about them. I mean... a magician wants people to believe that (a) he has magical powers that enable him to predict the future and/or defy the laws of physics and that (b) instead of using these powers to win the lottery or cure cancer or turn garbage into gold, they're going to spend their time turning the ace of Spades into the four of Hearts or by making a bunny rabbit appear in a hat.
How can we overcome this? Maybe by just admitting it.
I like the Amazing Randi's approach, which was to be upfront and say that everything you see onstage will be beautiful bullshit.
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Speaking of bullshit, here's a quote that Albert Einstein allegedly said:
“Patriotism is a disease. For a person to say something like, “The USA is the best country on earth” is exactly the same as saying “White people are God’s chosen race”.
I know... doesn't sound like Einstein, does it? Einstein was smarter than that.
Saying the USA is the best country on Earth is not the same as saying white people are God's chosen race. The latter offends me; the former I consider an opinion that's based on sentiment rather than fact.
When an American tells me that the United States is the best country in the world, or when I tell an American that Canada is the greatest nation on Earth, neither one of us are claiming that the our nations are objectively superior. We are simply employing hyperbole to describe our sentimentality.
I had a happy upbringing in Calgary. My family lives there. Many of my milestones were achieved there. This is why I say Calgary is the greatest city in the world - It is because it's important to me. When I say it, I am not hoping or expecting non-Calgarians to feel marginalized. I know that most of them, at least, have geographic locales that are important to them and I do not begrudge them when they employ absolutist terminology when they talk about their love for those places.
We're so bloody sensitive.
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I used to have a weekly column at the newspaper where I work.
I don't have a weekly column anymore.
No one has complained.
-
When I look at pictures of movie starlets from the 1950s, I immediately notice how hairless their armpits are. It's like there's not even a hint of stubble. This is sexy. I am a misogynist I guess because I don't like it when girls have armpit hair.
I only met one girl who was unapologetic about having hairy armpits. Her name was Frederika and I met her in Dublin. I think she was an artist. That is probably fitting.
-
I think I hate Ricky Jay.
Here is why I hate Ricky Jay: I like to think that there are three things I'm reasonably good at - acting, writing, and magic. Ricky Jay is the only person I know who could kick my ass at all three.
C'mon Shteevie, I'll kick your ass-
No one in my immediate family suffers from the number one fear - which is the fear of public speaking. Not only do we not fear it, all of us thrive on it.
I like to think this makes us unique.
-
My son likes to pretend I'm a surfboard. Preferably when I'm sleeping.
-
When I do magic shows, I tell my audience that the average person buys three decks of cards in their lives. The average card magician, by contrast, buys 157 decks every year.
I made those statistics up.
I tell the audience that too.
-
Sometimes, when I am pitching my magical services, a prospect says he's not inclined to hire a magician again. "We hired one a few years ago and it didn't work out."
No ever sees a bad movie and then refuses to return to the cinema. No one ever hears a lousy band and then swears off music for life. No one ever contracts food poisoning and never eats again.
I think that most people don't like magicians because they find something inherently dishonest about them. I mean... a magician wants people to believe that (a) he has magical powers that enable him to predict the future and/or defy the laws of physics and that (b) instead of using these powers to win the lottery or cure cancer or turn garbage into gold, they're going to spend their time turning the ace of Spades into the four of Hearts or by making a bunny rabbit appear in a hat.
How can we overcome this? Maybe by just admitting it.
I like the Amazing Randi's approach, which was to be upfront and say that everything you see onstage will be beautiful bullshit.
-
Speaking of bullshit, here's a quote that Albert Einstein allegedly said:
“Patriotism is a disease. For a person to say something like, “The USA is the best country on earth” is exactly the same as saying “White people are God’s chosen race”.
I know... doesn't sound like Einstein, does it? Einstein was smarter than that.
Saying the USA is the best country on Earth is not the same as saying white people are God's chosen race. The latter offends me; the former I consider an opinion that's based on sentiment rather than fact.
When an American tells me that the United States is the best country in the world, or when I tell an American that Canada is the greatest nation on Earth, neither one of us are claiming that the our nations are objectively superior. We are simply employing hyperbole to describe our sentimentality.
I had a happy upbringing in Calgary. My family lives there. Many of my milestones were achieved there. This is why I say Calgary is the greatest city in the world - It is because it's important to me. When I say it, I am not hoping or expecting non-Calgarians to feel marginalized. I know that most of them, at least, have geographic locales that are important to them and I do not begrudge them when they employ absolutist terminology when they talk about their love for those places.
We're so bloody sensitive.
-
I used to have a weekly column at the newspaper where I work.
I don't have a weekly column anymore.
No one has complained.
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